a long december day...

It's been a roller coaster ride kind of day.

Things started out pretty normal, but we had a holiday party with our research group, so that was fun and nice to not have to work for a couple hours. People liked my lentil walnut pate and there was plenty of vegan food for me to eat. 

After the party, I went with 2 other people to the cancer center to drop off gifts we had collected for a family whose father is dying of cancer. The social worker said he won't be around next year. He has two little girls, one- and four-years old. Gift cards and mittens seem so insufficient compared to the burden they bear. 

Actually, before I even dropped off the gifts, I stopped to read a blog entry our friend, Annie, wrote about the loss of their daughter, Piper, and how she's been handling it. It was good to hear an update but it is just as heartbreaking as I imagined it would be dealing with the loss of a child 6 months into a pregnancy. She said she has this constant urge to break coffee mugs on the pavement in anger, but that their mugs have been carefully collected through travels over many years. So what do you break?

On my way home, I was feeling really sleepy, and although I try not to do this, I allowed myself to doze a little. I noticed towards the end of my ride that the boy behind me seemed to be leaning in pretty close to me. At one point I looked back and he asked me if he could use my phone. I asked him why and he said he needed to call his mom. I asked him for the number and dialed it for him. At this point I knew I had to be careful that he wasn't trying to steal it, so I made sure I was situated in way I could grab it back instantly. He said I dialed the wrong number and gave it back. It was too late already, he said, it was almost his stop. 

Whew.

Minutes later, as he's getting off the bus, he reaches back and grabs at my phone! I thankfully had a good grip on it and he was out the door in a flash, sans phone, but not before I could yell "YOU F*CKING A**HOLE!!!" as he looked back at me, bewildered.

I told the people around me that he had tried to take my phone, and immediately apologized for my language. People gave me sympathetic looks, and the woman in front of me said she had heard that phone snatching was becoming more common. 

I'm pretty shaken up, and a little paranoid at home alone (Adam's bus broke down...so random). But what gets me the most is that this kid is heading down the wrong path, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm tempted to try calling the number (he said it was the wrong number but told me what it should be) and ask them if a teenage boy lives with them, and let them know he tried stealing a phone from someone. I want his mother to know what happened. Or a teacher. Someone. I want someone who cares about him to help him see what a slippery slope it is between petty theft and armed robbery. I want him to never do that again. For him. 

I am trying to think about what I could say if I see him again. It reminds me of this scene from a silly movie called "Ira and Abby" where Jennifer Westfeldt's eternally optimistic character is on a subway and a kid pulls out a gun and tells everyone to give him their money. She immediately starts talking to him and asks him how much money he needs, and then goes around politely to all of the passengers collecting the amount he asks for. He is shocked and even lowers his price, and then gets off at the next stop. I think you see the kid again later and his life is somehow changed because of Abby. 

I guess I could try to contact the bus company and ask them to review the tapes from the bus and maybe talk to him. That doesn't seem right, but neither does leaving everything as it is. 

All this on top of the enormous grief I feel for the families of Newtown and the victims of gun violence everywhere, and for the innocent targets of drone strikes, and for the babies who die before being born and for the billions of animals stuffed into tiny cages and crates, standing and sleeping in their own feces and waiting to die a cruel death to end up on someone's plate. I guess I'm saying that the world is cruel and some days it is more clear to me. But as Annie wrote in her post, the injustice of the world only makes me want to take a stronger stand, to be powerful instead of powerless, to be a force for good instead of a silent bystander. 

But for now, I'm ordering pizza. 

Healthy Potluck Ideas -- Halloween

Well, the holiday season is upon us and at work we are starting to get inundated with requests for potluck contributions. Today is Halloween and the Epidemiology division is sponsoring an all day eating extravaganza. I am always shocked at how little regard our Public Health Sciences department has for healthy potluck options. Here we are promoting healthy lifestyles and then there is a 20 foot long spread of different kinds of homemade cupcakes. The future of public health, my friends.

I thought I'd share some healthy ideas for potlucks that attempt to accommodate different diets and promote well being, instead of gluttonous excess.

For a Fall/Winter potluck:
1. Chai tea
    I brought in a box of nice chai tea along with a container of coconut creamer and jar of cinnamon for sprinkling. This is vegan, gluten free and suitable-ish for those crazy paleos out there. If you're not avoiding soy, I like Wild Wood soy creamer, as it's not as sweet as Silk.
     My original plan was to use Annie's great chai recipe (from the Betty Crocker Project) whereby you heat up almond milk and steep the chai together with the spices. You could then put it in a thermos pump pot. I didn't have the ingredients at home, so I opted for the DIY version. What I like best about bringing chai to a potluck is that it provides a different beverage option for those who don't necessarily want to drink soda, but who will if it's the only thing available (myself included).

2. Coconut squash
    I just thought this up this morning, but I think a really yummy side dish would be twice-baked winter squash. Cut a couple of acorn squashes in half, remove the seeds, roast cut-side down for an hour in a 350-degree oven (or until VERY soft), let cool, then scoop out the flesh from the halves. You can do this days in advance.
     The day of the event, mash up your squash in an oven safe dish, mix in coconut oil (or vegan margarine or olive oil) and maybe some non-dairy milk or creamer (depending on your crowd/dietary needs) and bake until slightly brown on top, or at least hot all the way through. Sprinkle with warm spices like nutmeg, cinnamon, or garam masala. If you have a microwave-save dish, you can warm it up for a lunch-time affair. Optional additions: chopped fresh herbs (sage, rosemary, thyme), toasted coconut (unsweetened) sprinkled on top, toasted nuts or seeds (sliced almonds, toasted pumpkin seeds), etc.

3. Pumpkin streusel loaf
    I tried this recipe from Peas & Thank You this weekend, and it was quite good. I used the glutinous options, using the 1 Cup of whole wheat flour, and it was dense but moist. I also used xylitol instead of the sucanat. I like this recipe because there are a lot of options for modifications, based on the needs of your crowd. You can use a variety of oils and flours, and it would likely turn out the same. Just be aware that paleo folks don't usually eat oats, but it is a small amount and they may be open to trying it regardless. Not sure how you could replace them...maybe sliced almonds?

That's all I have for now--I do plan on adding ideas for future events. Until then, enjoy Halloween!

autumn

today i heard the leaves rustle the way they only do when it's fall.

funny how such a small change can make such a big difference.

new york city

Friends, it's been about 3 months since I embarked on a trip, and I'm thrilled that tomorrow I'll be taking a train with my love to New York City. I can't describe the excitement I feel for this nostalgic and romantic trip to a city that is still so new to me.

We are taking a train to New York.

Imagine the multitudes who have said those same words, brimming with anticipation and joy at the prospect of seeing the famous Statue of Liberty, Central Park, the Empire State Building, etc. Thousands who packed huge trunks or simply caught hold of a railing on a whistling train headed east.

And oh, the food.The first time I was in New York I was still a new vegan and was worried I wouldn't find anything to eat.

I'm going to let that sink in for a sec.

I was worried I couldn't find vegan food. In New York.

Yeah. Newbie vegan. I can't even count the number of vegan restaurants that have been recommended. And then there's bakeries, diners, etc. We happen to be staying with a vegan power-couple whose life work is food. So, I know we'll be taken care of.

Adam and I really love traveling by train together. We enjoy the time to relax, without the hassle of 3 oz liquid restrictions and body scanners, without the stress of hurtling ourselves in metal shell at a mile a minute on hazardous highways for hours on end. We bring movies, snacks, reading, knitting, games, and pillows, and just let the trip include a leisurely 8 hour start on the train.

While I finish packing, I'm going to listen to Joni Mitchell's blue album. I discovered that her song, My Old Man, is a great picture of my old man, my love, my travel companion.

Can't wait to embark on the next adventure with him.

equinox

Today is the first day of Autumn. Somehow the day the seasons change seems to slip by me every time. I always plan on doing something symbolic at the moment of the equinox or spending my day intentionally, but then life happens and it's 1:00 PM and the equinox was 3 hours ago.

Nevertheless, I've made today worthy of the first day of fall. I woke up and had a nice little breakfast with Adam and then started cooking right away. I made tourlou (a middle eastern style ratatouille), baba ganoush and acorn squash lasagna with fresh sage and tofu ricotta. While I cooked, I cleaned, and my regular weekend chores are off to a good start. 

I'm nursing a headache today, unsure of its origin. Either it is a small hangover from the cocktails I had last night at a coworker's birthday celebration, or it is a caffeine headache. Whatever it is, I'm using mint tea and ibuprofen to stave it off. Later today I'll skype with my sister and hopefully get a bunch of knitting done. Then around dinner time we're taking K and N for the night, the first time babysitting all night at our house. I'm looking forward to it, but I know it will probably be quite an ordeal. As long as my headache goes away, I'll be ready for anything. 

So here's to the turning of the seasons, the start of a new stage of slowing down, turning inward, and being present, if only for a few moments every day. 

Moro de guandules (Rice with pigeon peas)

I am getting the hang of Dominican food, let me tell you. After 7(?) trips to the Dominican Republic in two years, I've tried a lot of dishes, and I think I know where they're going with their cuisine. Unlike "typical" Mexican food, Dominican food has very subtle and simple flavors. Nothing too hot or spicy, but still a lot of flavor. Very comfortable, and also very plant-based. At least, the food I eat seems to be mostly the staples, the side dishes that are easily made vegan.

A "moro" is a dish made with beans and rice where they have been cooked together. Typical "beans and rice" means, generally, that the white rice has been cooked separately from the soupy beans, and you pour the beans and their sauce over the white rice to eat. Still working on that recipe. A moro, though, is quite simple and I happen to like the one with guandules, although they make it with almost any kind of bean.

Anyway, here is my recipe for Moro de Guandules:

First, the sofrito. I've heard everyone has their own recipe for this, so I've made up my own, and you can make up yours, too, based on what you've got on hand. You want to have these basic ingredients, and the amounts can vary, and you could add other things too, like hot peppers, parsley, tomatoes, etc. I kept a jar in the freezer for at least 3 months and it was still great.

SOFRITO:
1 red or green bell pepper (or half of each)
2 cloves garlic, peeled
1 medium to large onion
1 bunch cilantro
2 tbsp lemon or lime juice

2 cups brown short grain rice
1/2 large can crushed tomatoes (optional)
3 - 4 C water
2 packets sazon (I buy this at the hispanic grocery store, with no MSG; there are probably recipes online)
1-2 cans pigeon peas/guandules (again, use any beans you have on hand)

Starting with the garlic, pulse in food processor until minced. Add the rest of the ingredients and blend until well-integrated. I don't worry about blending too long, it should be soupy.

In a stockpot, add 1/2 C-1C of the sofrito and sautee on medium heat, with some canola or olive oil. Once the sofrito becomes very aromatic, add in the rice and the sazon and stir. Let the rice sautee a bit to let out some of the nuttiness and then add the beans. Stir until well coated in the sauce, then add the water and tomatoes. I tend to add too much water, so our rice is very risotto-like, so add less water if you want the rice drier, then add more water if needed.

Bring to a boil, then reduce to medium-low and cook 40-50 minutes until the rice is tender and the liquid is absorbed. Try not to stir it at all. I like to let it sit 10-15 minutes or more with the heat off, lid on, to let the moisture really set in. If you happen to burn a little on the bottom, that's totally fine! The Dominicans call the burned rice "concon" and serve it separately for those who like it.

Serve with a simple salad and fresh fruit. Serves 6-8 (depending on appetites!)

Buen provecho!

How we spend our days...

One of my favorite quotations was said by Annie Dillard, an American author, and it goes like this:
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

These words remind me day after day that our lives are comprised of each individual day, and how we CHOOSE to spend them determines the life that we choose.

Today has not gone exactly as I would have liked, but it is not entirely because of my choices. It's been hot. And it's hard to do anything when it is so hot. I also have been trying to finish my final for my summer class. It's not too hard but it's been difficult to hunker down.

Weekends are hard for me in general because I have a lot of expectations for what I want to get accomplished. Usually, it involves some running around, which was just not quite feasible today because of the aforementioned impediments. The final is really what's getting me down, since I feel like I should spend all of my time working on it, but when I'm not, I don't feel like I can do anything worthwhile, like reading something for fun, watching a movie or working on a house project that is enjoyable. I end up wasting time on Facebook or something else on my phone, because if I did something I wanted to do, like knit more of my sweater, I would be "distracted from writing my final." Which has happened anyway.

So, because I sometimes get down on myself when I don't do what I want on the weekends, I decided to set the table for dinner and open a bottle of wine. I'm going to relax with Adam and call it a day.

However, one important thing I can do to set myself up for success on the weekends is to list the things I want to do. And not just the "to-do" list, but the list that involves fun things, too.

Most weekends, it looks like this:
Go to the market
Process new veggies so they are ready to cook
Cook some food (for weekend and weekday meals)
Buy flowers
Pick up grocery staples at the Co-op
Eat a nice breakfast
Clean the kitchen (it makes me REALLY happy when the kitchen is clean)
Read a book or knit
Drink a glass of wine (per day)
Sleep in (till 8:30)
Go to yoga, preferably a vinyasa flow and a restorative class
Make sure the front and back yards are looking good (weeding, mowing, etc.)
Do the laundry, including fresh sheets and towels
Hang out with some friends
Bike a lot
Relax

Again, there are probably more things that I like to do, but these are the main things that make me feel either restored or prepared for the week to come. I do actually make lists like this for the weekend. I am so forgetful, I need reminders even for the things I really want to do.

It's really about intention. Knowing what we want to accomplish each day. Not just for others, but for ourselves as well. What do we need to feel like we spent our time well? What do we need to turn our days into a life? I think it's about small steps, simple goals, and starting new each day.

Cheers.

Sugar-free successes

A while back, I mentioned that I wanted to go sugar-free. Adam has gone about a year with only a few sugary treats (I know he ate one of our cupcakes from our commitment ceremony, and enjoyed a treat or two at my brother's vegan wedding reception). For me, it hasn't been so simple, and it kind of surprises me because I've never really considered myself to have a sweet tooth, but I never could resist a free treat in my college years, and now I have a hard time resisting a vegan treat!
A few things are easy for me:
1. I only eat vegan foods, so the number of tempting (and realistic) snacks are more limited.
2. I never had a practice of putting sugar in things, like coffee or tea, except for the occasional espresso.
3. I really love savory foods and generally prefer cold pizza for breakfast than muffins or other sweet breakfast foods.
But there are definite challenges. Habits are hard to break and I have a bad habit of buying a huge cookie out of a vending machine on afternoons when I'm bored at work and want to go home. I also happen to enjoy eating spoonfuls of vegan nutella straight from the jar.
But I'm here to say it can be done, and one of the best ways I have found to avoid eating sugar is to eat whole foods. I still eat plenty of fresh fruit, and sometimes it's a good alternative to eating sweets. Yesterday, for example, my co-worker mentioned she was craving something frozen, and we went over to the cafeteria to look for a snack. Instead of the strawberry Popsicle, which had 25g of sugar(!), I got grapes. Not quite as cold or satisfying, but they did the trick. The nice thing about that is I increased my servings of fruits and veggies for the day and I didn't get a stomach ache from too much sugar. Here's what I ate yesterday, for an idea of a sugar-free lifestyle:
Breakfast: half English muffin with margarine, Americano with unsweetened soy creamer
Snack: banana, unsweetened ice tea
Lunch: beet and potato hash, whole wheat penne pasta with unsweetened pasta sauce and tofu sausage, zevia soda
Snack: grapes
Dinner: tofu sandwich on sourdough with watercress, potato salad with green beans
Snack: fresh blueberries

Some days are better than others (I had a sweetened iced chai today) but but when I focus on how something will make me feel, rather than how badly I'm craving it, I usually make the right decision.

Now if I could only break my NCIS habit...

bastille day

Today is the French independence day and I am wondering how they celebrate...do they use fireworks like we do? Or are they more demure and refined, and just picnic on the Eiffel Tower lawn...?
We share a somewhat similar history with France and yet we are so, so, so different. I read yesterday that France is #1 in healthcare worldwide, though they are #4 in spending. Guess who is #1 in spending? The U.S. of A. But what number are we in healthcare? 37.

Screw Obamacare. And Canada. Vive la France!

This weekend is unique in that Adam is away with his family at their camp and I am home with the cats. It's funny the way that life changes when a person is away for a weekend. For example, our cats, who normally think EVERY NIGHT IS A SLEEPOVER, meaning, they get to walk all over us all night long finding the perfect new spot to sleep, they, well, they ignored me. All. Night. I think Wallcat snuck in sometime in the middle of the night to catch a few zzz's at the foot of the bed. Jilly, it appears, slept on the windowsill and on the bathmat in the bathroom. So, it's good to know they are really only here for Adam. 

I made a smoothie this morning that was quite delicious, so I thought I'd share the recipe:

1-2 frozen bananas
1 C almond milk
2 generous Tbsp peanut butter
2 Tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 C water or ice (if you like it thicker)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground flaxseed (optional)

This made about 1 1/2 to 2 glasses that I drank by myself in about 2 minutes. The nice thing about this is that it is so yummy but it's not all that bad for you. Each of the items is a serving of the food, and the only sugar is from the bananas (unless your peanut butter has sugar, which is sneaky and they shouldn't do that to perfectly good peanut butter).

I am headed to yoga in a bit so I've got to run, but I wanted to stop in and say hello.
Bonjour.

Spring Mix

I made a playlist today before I headed home from the public market on my bike, and I'm really loving it. Lots of strong female singer/songwriters, a little bit of angst and a lot of whimsy, joy and playfulness, perfect for a spring mix.

"SPRING MIX"
Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show
Kids - MGMT
World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
Hometown Glory - Adele
Mariachi - Ani Difranco
Malo - Bebe
Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
Half Acre - Hem
Not Your Year - The Weepies
Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
Fuck Was I - Jenny Owens Young
Life Boat - Ani Difranco
Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
Gotta Have You - The Weepies
Albacore - Ani Difranco
Bitter Heart - Zee Avi
Slow Pony Home - The Weepies

If you want the abridged version, listen to "Mariachi", "Fuck Was I", "Home" and "Sweet Disposition". :)

I have found a lot of joy from going to the public market alone on Saturday mornings. I used to give Adam a hard time about not going with me (he hates crowds) but I have truly enjoyed the solitude I find in being surrounded by hundreds of people but having my own agenda and being in my own head. I hop on my bike, listen to a couple songs or a quick podcast on my way to the market, lock up, and head to the coffee shop. My drink choices vary--today it was an americano, last time it was a soy cappuccino. The place I go actually has terrible espresso, so I'm considering going to the other shop next time. We'll see. Anyway, I sit with my coffee, reading some blogs or making my shopping list. Although I often enjoy walking around with a hot drink, like when I go to work on the bus, but at the market, I prefer to just sit and finish my drink before shopping. It's a good time to people-watch, relax and soak in the morning sunshine.

After I finish my coffee, I head to the Flour City Bread Company and pick up a loaf or two of their artisan bread. I'm loving their foccacia, which is drenched in oil and salt. You don't even need to dip it in olive oil--just drizzle with some balsamic and eat freshly sliced.

From the bread shop, I head to the crowds and pick up a few veggies. Today I found some great looking Asian eggplants, some dandelion greens (I know, I can pick them out of my backyard, but I have to support the little old lady selling them--more power to her). I also grabbed a 1/2 lb of decaf Guatemalan coffee, 2 portobello mushrooms and some avocados. I have a lot of produce left over from last week, so today was just a spiritual practice in marketing.

The last time I was in the Dominican Republic, my coworker's husband was driving me to the airport and asked me what I like to do for fun at home. The first thing that popped into my mind was going to the market, next was cooking. Especially when I am traveling over the weekend, I miss the routine of preparing good, wholesome and homemade food for myself and for Adam. I crave it. Lately I've been realizing I spend a ridiculous amount of money on food, but I justify it by the fact that I don't have a motor vehicle and therefore can afford to treat myself to delicious foods. And the fact that instead of driving, I bike, it makes sense that I spend my money on "fuel". Ha!

Finally, today is somewhat bittersweet, as I think about the blessings I have and some of the hardships I know some are enduring, but I take comfort knowing that the love we have for each other sustains us even when we are not in constant contact. I feel the love of my friends when they are thousands of miles away, and hope they feel my love as well.

"So it goes, so no one knows you like they used to do. Have a drink, the sky is sinking toward a deeper blue, and you're still alright. Step out in the twilight."
Living in Twilight - The Weepies