Last night I started soaking some raw cashews to make cheese today. Supposedly the longer you soak them the creamier the cheese will be (no more than overnight). This is how I put it together:
1/2-3/4 C raw cashews, soaked
A few Tbs leftover soaking water
1 Tbs nutritional yeast
1 tsp lemon juice
1 Tbs miso
1 Tbs tahini
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp smoked paprika (optional)
Salt & pepper to taste
Blend everything in a food processor for a few minutes until very smooth. These are very rough estimates so almost everything should be measured to taste. If it is too thin you can let it set in the fridge. I believe some of the liquid will separate so you can pour it off.
Yum! Can't wait to try some on rye toast!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Week's end
Tonight I left work early, sat in a coffee shop knitting, drinking chai and listening to my favorite podcast waiting for Adam to meet me for dinner. We ate at my favorite restaurant, barely missed the bus home and opted to walk home instead of waiting an hour for the next one. We got home before the bus would have left downtown, plus got more than our daily minimum exercise. Now I'm reading about German and Dutch bicycle and pedestrian infrastructure and policy.
Let's just say I love the weekend.
Let's just say I love the weekend.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Response: Open Letter to Motorists
I sometimes forget these things can really get out there into the interwebs, and it's left for others' interpretation. I received a few comments in reaction to my "enough is enough" post regarding motorists' treatment of non-motorists, and some things were inferred that I thought I could explain a bit more. This is not to be interpreted as lashing out against criticism of my feelings, but rather a way to be better heard regarding my specific objections to being asked every day, "Did you ride your bike?"
I should have mentioned in my post, Open Letter to Motorists, that I used to work with a woman who also biked to work, but for completely different reasons than why I do. For her, it was about fitness and staying in shape for competitions. She had a car and children and I think she asked me sometimes to guilt trip herself when she didn't ride, or to make herself feel better if she rode and I didn't. I really despised the competition and having to "admit" my choice [daily] when sometimes there is a very complicated decision-making process ("Am I meeting someone after work who has a car and no bike rack? Do I need to bring in awkwardly shaped objects to work? Do I need to get groceries on the way home? Am I leaving straight from work to catch a plane or go on a roadtrip? Is it too icy to bike?") No one wants to hear about those details, they just want a simple yes or no, did you ride your bike? But I want to know, "Why do you care?"
I understand that most people are just trying to think of something to say to me, to make polite conversation, but it is very hurtful when something so important to me is reduced to a yes or no. When they use my means of transportation as a way to demean me, by assuming that my experience must be awful on some days, even if quite pleasant on others. It is even more hurtful when people put down riding the bus. It is not glamorous, of course, but it is also a statement, of equal importance to riding a bike in my mind, of my commitment to safe, environmentally-friendly and progressive transportation. But from the looks on people's faces, and the way it stops the conversation, it indicates that I am poor or lazy. And who would want to spend all that time downtown...where the black people are. I'm being sarcastic, of course.
My problem is not that people ask me questions, it's that they ask questions to demean me. You may think that I'm overreacting or misunderstanding them, but when you get questioned day after day with the same responses and comments, you begin to sense a pattern. It is the same with my veganism. People automatically default to extremely negative reactions, "Oh, sorry, you can't have that" or "I had some [insert dead animal] last night...Oh, sorry, you don't eat that." "Where do you get your protein?" "I could never give up cheese, it's just too delicious." All of these things seem harmless, but they are in fact negative evaluations of my choices, which, by the way, make me blissfully happy apart from the negativity I receive from other people. The point is, you can be lazy about making conversation with me, but pick something that doesn't bring in our diverging ethical beliefs on a wintry Friday morning. No one thinks they are being rude, because they are in the majority.
My partner also rides his bike or the bus to work, and is vegan, and experiences the same interactions, though sometimes worse (I work in a community health department, so people tend to be more accepting of my "lifestyle" than they are at my partner's corporate media company). On the day I wrote the previous post, he and I were tied for 3 comments about riding our bikes in the winter weather by 10 AM.
I actually feel this way nearly every day, and yes, I decided to just write about it because it doesn't do much good complaining to Adam night after night about the idiot things people say, mindlessly, to me about things I care very much about. I have story upon story of outrageous things people have said to me, but what gets to me is that they don't want to have a conversation. They want to say something mindlessly and not have it mean anything. And I just think that's wrong. I don't care if this is an office and we're in cubicles. Don't ask about people's lifestyle choices if you don't want to talk about them. Don't bring up my ethical values and then treat them as if they aren't ethical. Don't disrespect my choices by talking about how miserable I must be making them. As I said in the end of my post, I continue to talk to people politely, racking my brain for constructive responses to their questions, a way to dig a little deeper with them, but they don't want to think about it. They don't like it when they say "Be careful on your ride home" and I say "You too" because that puts the onus on them, and they don't want to be responsible for my safety.
Sometimes people who are endlessly nice to others who don't deserve it need a place to debrief that isn't their kitchen.
I should have mentioned in my post, Open Letter to Motorists, that I used to work with a woman who also biked to work, but for completely different reasons than why I do. For her, it was about fitness and staying in shape for competitions. She had a car and children and I think she asked me sometimes to guilt trip herself when she didn't ride, or to make herself feel better if she rode and I didn't. I really despised the competition and having to "admit" my choice [daily] when sometimes there is a very complicated decision-making process ("Am I meeting someone after work who has a car and no bike rack? Do I need to bring in awkwardly shaped objects to work? Do I need to get groceries on the way home? Am I leaving straight from work to catch a plane or go on a roadtrip? Is it too icy to bike?") No one wants to hear about those details, they just want a simple yes or no, did you ride your bike? But I want to know, "Why do you care?"
I understand that most people are just trying to think of something to say to me, to make polite conversation, but it is very hurtful when something so important to me is reduced to a yes or no. When they use my means of transportation as a way to demean me, by assuming that my experience must be awful on some days, even if quite pleasant on others. It is even more hurtful when people put down riding the bus. It is not glamorous, of course, but it is also a statement, of equal importance to riding a bike in my mind, of my commitment to safe, environmentally-friendly and progressive transportation. But from the looks on people's faces, and the way it stops the conversation, it indicates that I am poor or lazy. And who would want to spend all that time downtown...where the black people are. I'm being sarcastic, of course.
My problem is not that people ask me questions, it's that they ask questions to demean me. You may think that I'm overreacting or misunderstanding them, but when you get questioned day after day with the same responses and comments, you begin to sense a pattern. It is the same with my veganism. People automatically default to extremely negative reactions, "Oh, sorry, you can't have that" or "I had some [insert dead animal] last night...Oh, sorry, you don't eat that." "Where do you get your protein?" "I could never give up cheese, it's just too delicious." All of these things seem harmless, but they are in fact negative evaluations of my choices, which, by the way, make me blissfully happy apart from the negativity I receive from other people. The point is, you can be lazy about making conversation with me, but pick something that doesn't bring in our diverging ethical beliefs on a wintry Friday morning. No one thinks they are being rude, because they are in the majority.
My partner also rides his bike or the bus to work, and is vegan, and experiences the same interactions, though sometimes worse (I work in a community health department, so people tend to be more accepting of my "lifestyle" than they are at my partner's corporate media company). On the day I wrote the previous post, he and I were tied for 3 comments about riding our bikes in the winter weather by 10 AM.
I actually feel this way nearly every day, and yes, I decided to just write about it because it doesn't do much good complaining to Adam night after night about the idiot things people say, mindlessly, to me about things I care very much about. I have story upon story of outrageous things people have said to me, but what gets to me is that they don't want to have a conversation. They want to say something mindlessly and not have it mean anything. And I just think that's wrong. I don't care if this is an office and we're in cubicles. Don't ask about people's lifestyle choices if you don't want to talk about them. Don't bring up my ethical values and then treat them as if they aren't ethical. Don't disrespect my choices by talking about how miserable I must be making them. As I said in the end of my post, I continue to talk to people politely, racking my brain for constructive responses to their questions, a way to dig a little deeper with them, but they don't want to think about it. They don't like it when they say "Be careful on your ride home" and I say "You too" because that puts the onus on them, and they don't want to be responsible for my safety.
Sometimes people who are endlessly nice to others who don't deserve it need a place to debrief that isn't their kitchen.
Friday, January 13, 2012
open letter to motorists
It finally has to be said.
Motorists drive me absolutely up the wall.
I can't tell you how many times I'm asked daily, "Did you ride your bike today?" And usually, no, almost always, it's because the weather is so crappy they can't imagine hopping on a bike to get to work. So that's a really nice way of saying "I bet you had a really shitty commute, huh?" The other 2% of the time they ask me because it's a gorgeous day, and if by chance I didn't ride my bike, they look disappointed.
Let me explain something. When I don't ride my bike, I take the bus. I never drive to work (maybe 3 times, when I borrowed a car from my sister, while she was out of town). People, though, for being so thoroughly enthusiastic about me riding my bike (on good days) are so thoroughly unimpressed by my taking the bus when I don't ride. It completely ends the conversation.
I would just like to say that I don't ask people if they brushed their teeth this morning, or if they got off their asses and went for a run after work. I don't ask what route they take to work or if they stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a 700 calorie doughnut hole. I don't ask them if they speed or if they give pedestrians the right of way. I don't ask where they buy their gas or IF THEY GODDAMN DROVE TO WORK.
I get asked in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the hallway, and at my desk. I get asked when co-workers (who never actually work) stop by the window 12 times a day to look at the weather. And then they ask if I rode. And the kicker is, they truly don't care whether I rode my bike or not. Because they already know how they feel about riding. That they would never consider pairing physical activity with commuting. That it must be such a hassle for me to bike to work. I'm guessing they think taking the bus is a hassle as well, but I don't know because, like I said, it's a conversation-stopper.
Today we got our first big dumping of snow, and people ask me almost nervously if I braved the snow on my two-wheeled chariot. When I "admit" I took the bus, they look relieved and proceed to tell me how they saw an idiot cyclist on the road in this weather. As if they didn't want to say anything if they knew I had been an idiot too. "I mean, CARS are sliding all over!" The whole problem with their attitudes is that they think I am doing something dangerous, when I am actually avoiding the danger--the possibility of KILLING someone with a 2-ton high-velocity metal cage. Riding my bike is only dangerous because they are out there in their cars.
Then, if I ride my bike, I'm told to "be careful". As if being surrounded by 2-ton high-velocity metal cages during rush hour near the largest employer in the city weren't a good enough reminder of how "careful" I need to be. As if my bare body doesn't care about looking for traffic even though I could be smashed in the blink of an eye and it not be my fault.
So what do I do? I'm completely trapped because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I ride my bike on a day when motorists find inclement weather, then I'm stupid, and if I don't ride my bike I'm unimpressive. But the whole goddamned point is that I'm not out to impress anyone. I don't ride my bike so that people will ask me about it. I wish they wouldn't! And I don't want to tell you that I rode my bike just so you can lecture me about being safe, because I know exactly how dangerous cars are--so much so, I choose not to operate them for fear I could kill someone.
I could write a novel on my annoyance with people not letting me just enjoy riding my bike, but I'll save that for another day. For now, I'm going to sit here and pat myself on the back for always making more environmentally friendly choices than driving a motor vehicle, and for being nice to people who are jerks. So there.
Motorists drive me absolutely up the wall.
I can't tell you how many times I'm asked daily, "Did you ride your bike today?" And usually, no, almost always, it's because the weather is so crappy they can't imagine hopping on a bike to get to work. So that's a really nice way of saying "I bet you had a really shitty commute, huh?" The other 2% of the time they ask me because it's a gorgeous day, and if by chance I didn't ride my bike, they look disappointed.
Let me explain something. When I don't ride my bike, I take the bus. I never drive to work (maybe 3 times, when I borrowed a car from my sister, while she was out of town). People, though, for being so thoroughly enthusiastic about me riding my bike (on good days) are so thoroughly unimpressed by my taking the bus when I don't ride. It completely ends the conversation.
I would just like to say that I don't ask people if they brushed their teeth this morning, or if they got off their asses and went for a run after work. I don't ask what route they take to work or if they stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a 700 calorie doughnut hole. I don't ask them if they speed or if they give pedestrians the right of way. I don't ask where they buy their gas or IF THEY GODDAMN DROVE TO WORK.
I get asked in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the hallway, and at my desk. I get asked when co-workers (who never actually work) stop by the window 12 times a day to look at the weather. And then they ask if I rode. And the kicker is, they truly don't care whether I rode my bike or not. Because they already know how they feel about riding. That they would never consider pairing physical activity with commuting. That it must be such a hassle for me to bike to work. I'm guessing they think taking the bus is a hassle as well, but I don't know because, like I said, it's a conversation-stopper.
Today we got our first big dumping of snow, and people ask me almost nervously if I braved the snow on my two-wheeled chariot. When I "admit" I took the bus, they look relieved and proceed to tell me how they saw an idiot cyclist on the road in this weather. As if they didn't want to say anything if they knew I had been an idiot too. "I mean, CARS are sliding all over!" The whole problem with their attitudes is that they think I am doing something dangerous, when I am actually avoiding the danger--the possibility of KILLING someone with a 2-ton high-velocity metal cage. Riding my bike is only dangerous because they are out there in their cars.
Then, if I ride my bike, I'm told to "be careful". As if being surrounded by 2-ton high-velocity metal cages during rush hour near the largest employer in the city weren't a good enough reminder of how "careful" I need to be. As if my bare body doesn't care about looking for traffic even though I could be smashed in the blink of an eye and it not be my fault.
So what do I do? I'm completely trapped because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I ride my bike on a day when motorists find inclement weather, then I'm stupid, and if I don't ride my bike I'm unimpressive. But the whole goddamned point is that I'm not out to impress anyone. I don't ride my bike so that people will ask me about it. I wish they wouldn't! And I don't want to tell you that I rode my bike just so you can lecture me about being safe, because I know exactly how dangerous cars are--so much so, I choose not to operate them for fear I could kill someone.
I could write a novel on my annoyance with people not letting me just enjoy riding my bike, but I'll save that for another day. For now, I'm going to sit here and pat myself on the back for always making more environmentally friendly choices than driving a motor vehicle, and for being nice to people who are jerks. So there.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Resolve
So it's January 5th and I have to say that I should have gotten rid of the sugary products in my house before starting my sugar-free journey. I'm not one to let things go to waste, and since our house guests are gone I've taken to cleaning out the sugary stuff, so to speak. Agave nectar, mom's cinnamon bread (though she did go light on the sugar), coconut nog and fruit juices still tempt me at home, but I'm okay with that for now. The only way I do things is gradually.
-----------
I finally got my hands on the Kinfolk Magazine. I heard about it through two blogs that I read, and I was waiting to put iOS 5 on my iPad so I could download it.
It was SO worth the wait.
Kinfolk is a magazine dedicated to the art of small gatherings. It is a beautiful collection of stories and photographs that glorify the goodness of sharing a cup of tea with a friend or the importance of lovingly preparing food for loved ones. I am very inspired by this particular aspect of the human experience to which these talented artists and writers decided to dedicate this magazine. It makes me proud of the gatherings we hosted over the holidays for friends and family and glad that I put so much effort into making our home cozy and our food inviting. It also encourages me to let go a bit--to allow things to unfold naturally, organically, without feeling contrived.
One line from a story really stood out to me. In talking about the harshness of a Manitoba winter, one writer wrote,
"Winter is the recognition, in the form of a season, that we need each other."
-----------
I finally got my hands on the Kinfolk Magazine. I heard about it through two blogs that I read, and I was waiting to put iOS 5 on my iPad so I could download it.
It was SO worth the wait.
Kinfolk is a magazine dedicated to the art of small gatherings. It is a beautiful collection of stories and photographs that glorify the goodness of sharing a cup of tea with a friend or the importance of lovingly preparing food for loved ones. I am very inspired by this particular aspect of the human experience to which these talented artists and writers decided to dedicate this magazine. It makes me proud of the gatherings we hosted over the holidays for friends and family and glad that I put so much effort into making our home cozy and our food inviting. It also encourages me to let go a bit--to allow things to unfold naturally, organically, without feeling contrived.
One line from a story really stood out to me. In talking about the harshness of a Manitoba winter, one writer wrote,
"Winter is the recognition, in the form of a season, that we need each other."
I think about the times that Adam and I make the effort to brave the cold and snow and wind to visit a friend and how it always seems worth it, and how the weather is not as bad as we thought it would be (usually).
A few weeks ago I wrote that I was embarrassed to be so enamored of fancy things like tea and cozy neighborhoods and eating at restaurants because of my deep awareness of the suffering and needs of our community, and yet I find comfort in knowing that all humans have the desire to be warm, to drink from warm mugs in the winter and to share a meal with the ones we love. It is not luxury that I seek, but rather the comforts of community and home. All I have to do is work to extend the hospitality of our home to more neighbors.
So add that to the list of intentions for 2012.
A few weeks ago I wrote that I was embarrassed to be so enamored of fancy things like tea and cozy neighborhoods and eating at restaurants because of my deep awareness of the suffering and needs of our community, and yet I find comfort in knowing that all humans have the desire to be warm, to drink from warm mugs in the winter and to share a meal with the ones we love. It is not luxury that I seek, but rather the comforts of community and home. All I have to do is work to extend the hospitality of our home to more neighbors.
So add that to the list of intentions for 2012.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
This is the New Year
I have been thinking a lot about ways to dig deeper and live better in 2012, and there are several ideas bouncing around in my head.
First, I've decided to go sugar-free. No sweet baked goods, no added sweeteners, and no sodas (not even diet). I have been getting on and off this bandwagon for the last 6 months, but it's finally time to embrace it. I simply feel awful when I eat sugary things and I feel better when I don't. More about this in a future post.
I also, after creating a spreadsheet, have figured out that I can save $6000 and pay down my student loan debt to under $3000 by year's end, so I'm going to to do that. The trick is to stop feeling like I'm rich by investing my money immediately into the areas that need it--my savings account and my debts. If I know my checking account is low, I will be less likely to spend on more frivolous items. So the plan is to invest $500 into my savings account and $500 into my loans every month. It ends up being a hefty portion of my take-home pay, but it's definitely worth it.
These two things, I think, will really help cover the rest of my goals. Which are:
1. Get serious about reducing my belongings, both personally and within our household; sell what I can, give away what I can't and reduce the amount of new things that come into the house
2. Stay focused on creating inexpensive, nourishing, home-cooked meals full of nutrients but without expensive additions
3. Stop going to Starbucks and other coffee shops and instead take 2 minutes to pour myself a tea to-go
4. Drink more water instead of snacking in the afternoon
5. Spend more time reading (news, fiction, non-fiction) on my internet devices and less time shopping or reading blogs mindlessly
6. Grow more food; preserve more too
7. Meditate, do yoga, and take lots of walks (rain or shine)
8. Seriously reduce the amount of caffeine I consume; drink mostly herbal teas and water
Those goals may, at first glance, have nothing to do with my original two intentions, but they really do. I am so sick of putting money into loans--plain and simple. I can't stand what interest rates do to the amount you end up paying, and I want to finish the repayment as soon as humanly possible. Most of my other goals have to do with living more frugally so that I can manage this ambitious repayment (by the way, most loans are set up to be paid back in 10 years--I'm hoping to be done in less than 5). Not only do some of my money pitfalls have to do with impulse-buying, they are also connected to eating sugar. Even when I get plain latte's they still have sugar and caffeine. I tend to buy lots of snacks at work that are sometimes sweet, sometimes salty, but I am less likely to snack if I know I can't have cookies!
In the end, I want my money back. I want to have something to show for the salary that I earn. I want all of my money to go towards new adventures and investments, not into a past investment (my education). Who knows, I'll probably need to take out loans for graduate school at some point. But I hope I will have completely paid off my undergraduate debt before that happens. I also hate thinking about my decent-sized salary going towards lattes, burritos and shoes and having very little to show for the rest. So it's time to be in control of the cash that flows from my credit card and put it where it belongs. In a way, what I'm doing is preventing myself from the impulse-buys by taking away my money before I can spend it. Oh, the mind games I play on myself. In the end, I want to spend as much money as I can where it counts, so that I can truly take advantage of being debt free in a little over a year...can't wait...
First, I've decided to go sugar-free. No sweet baked goods, no added sweeteners, and no sodas (not even diet). I have been getting on and off this bandwagon for the last 6 months, but it's finally time to embrace it. I simply feel awful when I eat sugary things and I feel better when I don't. More about this in a future post.
I also, after creating a spreadsheet, have figured out that I can save $6000 and pay down my student loan debt to under $3000 by year's end, so I'm going to to do that. The trick is to stop feeling like I'm rich by investing my money immediately into the areas that need it--my savings account and my debts. If I know my checking account is low, I will be less likely to spend on more frivolous items. So the plan is to invest $500 into my savings account and $500 into my loans every month. It ends up being a hefty portion of my take-home pay, but it's definitely worth it.
These two things, I think, will really help cover the rest of my goals. Which are:
1. Get serious about reducing my belongings, both personally and within our household; sell what I can, give away what I can't and reduce the amount of new things that come into the house
2. Stay focused on creating inexpensive, nourishing, home-cooked meals full of nutrients but without expensive additions
3. Stop going to Starbucks and other coffee shops and instead take 2 minutes to pour myself a tea to-go
4. Drink more water instead of snacking in the afternoon
5. Spend more time reading (news, fiction, non-fiction) on my internet devices and less time shopping or reading blogs mindlessly
6. Grow more food; preserve more too
7. Meditate, do yoga, and take lots of walks (rain or shine)
8. Seriously reduce the amount of caffeine I consume; drink mostly herbal teas and water
Those goals may, at first glance, have nothing to do with my original two intentions, but they really do. I am so sick of putting money into loans--plain and simple. I can't stand what interest rates do to the amount you end up paying, and I want to finish the repayment as soon as humanly possible. Most of my other goals have to do with living more frugally so that I can manage this ambitious repayment (by the way, most loans are set up to be paid back in 10 years--I'm hoping to be done in less than 5). Not only do some of my money pitfalls have to do with impulse-buying, they are also connected to eating sugar. Even when I get plain latte's they still have sugar and caffeine. I tend to buy lots of snacks at work that are sometimes sweet, sometimes salty, but I am less likely to snack if I know I can't have cookies!
In the end, I want my money back. I want to have something to show for the salary that I earn. I want all of my money to go towards new adventures and investments, not into a past investment (my education). Who knows, I'll probably need to take out loans for graduate school at some point. But I hope I will have completely paid off my undergraduate debt before that happens. I also hate thinking about my decent-sized salary going towards lattes, burritos and shoes and having very little to show for the rest. So it's time to be in control of the cash that flows from my credit card and put it where it belongs. In a way, what I'm doing is preventing myself from the impulse-buys by taking away my money before I can spend it. Oh, the mind games I play on myself. In the end, I want to spend as much money as I can where it counts, so that I can truly take advantage of being debt free in a little over a year...can't wait...
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
our commitment ceremony
I thought I'd celebrate our "official" registry with the city of Rochester by posting a few photos from our ceremony. It was a truly lovely day and I will be working on a story to submit to one of the major wedding blogs to do some advocacy about alternatives to marriage and how to do a ceremony that is true to your values.
 |
| It was important to us to be together before the ceremony, so we all hung out in the dressing room together |
 |
| We told stories about our relationship during the ceremony... |
 |
| ...and I cried... :) |
 |
| Creating our own ceremony took a lot of time and a lot of thought. Sharing our beliefs in front of our family felt intimate and vulnerable, but it also felt authentic, personal and liberating. We were honest about our intentions for our commitment to each other, and we established with our loved ones how we want our partnership to be treated. |
 |
| Betsy, my sister, read the poem "i carry your heart" by e.e. cummings and we asked everyone to come up to leave their fingerprint on artwork created by Betsy and Jen, my sister-in-law. The artwork has the last stanza of the poem written next to the "tree of life". |
 |
| My three-month-old nephew, Luke, used his little toe! And loved it! |
 |
| We sang "Feelin' Groovy" by Simon & Garfunkel and "The Rainbow Connection". Also, Charlie, my brother-in-law, played an instrumental version of "Imagine" by John Lennon for the prelude. It was important for us to have UU-like songs, but since we are not frequent church-goers, and none of our family is Unitarian Universalist, we chose songs that were well-known but that had special meaning to us for our ceremony. |
 |
| We had a bike procession take us from the church to our home for the reception. I rode on Adam's Xtracycle and we enjoyed the honks and congratulations from motorists and pedestrians as we made our way home. It was really important for us to get around on bikes since we depend on them and it is a key part of our partnership. And it was super fun to get others involved in the procession. |
Adam is a graphic designer and he designed our invitations, our program and our menu for the reception. Charlie played the piano for the entire ceremony (with only days to rehearse since we decided on the songs at the last minute). Betsy and Jen created the artwork, which was really crucial to our ceremony. Our friend and fellow vegan, Wendy, took beautiful photos and spent the whole day with us. My mother cleaned our entire house, top to bottom, in preparation for our at-home reception. Jen and Stephen, my brother, helped me create the flower arrangements. Adam's parents hosted a lovely vegan barbecue at their home the night before the ceremony, giving all of us an opportunity to mingle and socialize at their beautiful home. Claire, my friend and wine go-to girl, recommended the champagne. My sister managed to get divine vegan cupcakes for us at the last minute, and our friend Matthew arranged the pick-up of all the food for the reception. At the end of the day, we were playing music, singing songs and dancing with babies, barefoot in the backyard. It was everything we wanted from a celebration, and so much more. I love reminiscing about the day and thinking about how much our community contributed to making it memorable.
More pictures to come, if I can just get all 800 of them uploaded...
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
trying new things
Tonight, I discovered an adorable street in downtown Rochester, and I was so taken with it I still haven't stopped thinking about it.
Adam stopped by his parents' house after work today to hang out with his brother. Knowing I was on my own for a few hours, I started scheming a plan to get take-out at my favorite restaurant in Rochester--Abyssinia. They have delicious Ethiopian food and I literally think about eating it every day. It takes quite a bit of willpower to wait at least a week before going there again. This evening was different, though, because I have never gotten it to go.
My scheming made me a little nervous. I wasn't sure I had enough time to catch my bus home from downtown. That alone was almost reason enough for me to nix the plan, but as Adam wrote to me, and I thought to myself, you only live once.
So there I was, on a mid-week after work adventure, alone in my new heeled boots, feeling young, inspired and invigorated by doing something new. I got off at Main & Gibbs, a common stop for me, where I sometimes head south to Java's for a soy Kashmiri chai tea in the morning. This time, however, I had to go north, and I had never done that before! I've been to Abyssinia a dozen times, and I've been to Java's scores of times, but I had never once gone down the one block that separates the two. I was almost nervous, not sure if it might be one of those streets that suddenly turns shady and there's nothing to do but just keep going.
But oh my goodness, what a beautiful little street. Adorable, lovely, peaceful apartments, with brownstone facades, cheerful house numbers, plants in windows, and tenants passionately practicing the violin in dimly lit, second floor flats. It reminded me of an historic neighborhood in DC or a Chicago, with creaky doors, short street lamps and steep steps leading to grand public entrances to apartments.
This evening, curiously, was almost balmy in an eerily un-December-like way. A passing rain storm left the sidewalks damp and shining, and the Christmas lights hung in trees lining the street sparkled in a cheerful, laughing way.
My heels made a satisfying, deep thump as I made my way down this charming, almost nostalgic street. I immediately took to imagining a new life in one of the third floor flats, with the Eastman school graduate student working on her cello solo down the hall, the barista collecting her mail from the dimly lit entry way as we say good morning and I head down the street to Java's for a latte before catching my bus to work. Imagine, living a block from Abyssinia, ordering in once a week, before walking down to the symphony for a Tuesday night performance. It's even a block from the YMCA, where I could actually do some weight-lifting, swimming and running in the cold winter months.
It's nights like these that remind me of who I am. Although it makes me painfully aware of the privilege I enjoy in my place in this world, I do truly enjoy the comfort of a coffee shop espresso, the glittering lights of the theater, the romance of a swanky downtown apartment, and the instant gratification of delicious take out.
I stepped into an empty Abyssinia and waited a few moments for them to bring me my dinner, the lustful inspiration of this night's adventure. It was almost disappointing, only because I felt so satisfied by my discovery of this little gem called Gibbs street, I could have called it a night without the precious oil-and-spice soaked injera and lentils.
I even had enough time to stop into Java's to buy a bag of their loose-leaf Kashmiri chai tea. I smiled at the bustle of art and music students, young talent bursting with creativity in a dark cafe, fashionable young professionals getting double espressos before the night's musical performance and moody baristas looking bored as they pull shots and artfully foam milk. "Sleigh Ride" spiritedly electrified the ambiance as we nudge closer to Christmas. And to think, I almost didn't stop for fear of missing a bus home.
What other adventures are waiting for me to just catch the next one instead...?
Saturday, November 12, 2011
whoa! dream big! part 2.
this is part 2 to a list i wrote nearly 4 years ago.
i sat in a coffee shop in tacoma in the early spring with my sister, my very best friend in the whole world, and we discussed the impending doom of college graduation. we had decisions to make, grown up ones. we were exactly the same age, but we had very different choices in front of us. while betsy sat wondering how to not make the easy choice to follow her partner wherever he went, i breathed the damp pacific air, mixed with the strong bitterness of my espresso and felt the twinge of regret that i had not been brave enough to move across the country at 18. i was jealous of my sister's laidback and yet fierce disposition, a product of spending 4 years in hippie heaven. the land where people wear chacos year round and no one uses an umbrella. we made a list of things that we wanted to do. bold things. inspired things. it was our whoa! dream big! list, and it truly led us to take bold and inspired steps towards dreams that spoke to our souls.
betsy moved to the catskills, lived alone in a cabin, and learned from a farmer named amy how to make medicine out of plants. she picked blueberries, baked pie, drank moonshine brewed by the neighbors, and fell asleep to the mooing of shaggy cows outside her door.
i spent an entire summer in the sierra mountains. i hiked to 9,000 ft, carried buckets of water from a raging river, and washed my clothes naked in the same river. i woke at sunrise, put in an honest day's work, flexed my muscles, lost weight that had been holding me back for far too long, and fell in love with the world. i saw the sun set every night from my tent, watched the moon rise over mountain lakes, and literally moved mountains to create monuments in the wilderness. i lost someone i didn't even know meant the world to me, i found the person i was always supposed to be, and it was all because of that day in the coffee shop when my sister and i decided that we were the authors of our own destiny.
it helps me to remind myself that adventures start the same way. every time. unsettled, restless frustration. searching, feeling lost, knowing that the world is out there having fun without you.
so hear is my whoa! dream big! list, part 2.
i want to...
1. become a dedicated practitioner of yoga.
2. have a job that has a direct, positive effect on people's lives. e.g. massage therapist, yoga teacher, youth leader in some sort of natural setting, city planner in charge of turning highways into bike lanes
3. become an expert gardener, growing 80%+ of the food i consume
4. live someplace where i can subsist off of the food i can grow (preferably including avocados)
5. live my life car-free
6. spend a significant part of my time in creative processes
7. travel to ancient places
8. eat a completely whole foods diet, as raw as possible
9. get a PhD in something that blows my socks off. political science mixed with feminist theory and community development, public health and philosophy and art.
10. see ani difranco in concert again. preferably with my sissy.
11. hike back through the stanislaus to see my rock wall and revisit the places that still hold pieces of my heart
12. publish a memoir
13. stay in touch with my spiritual inspiration.
14. travel around south america, without an agenda
15. read as many great books as possible
16. stay in touch with the people that brighten my life
17. focus on being positive and enjoying the small moments in life
18. be part of a movement that puts people on bikes, on foot or on buses and out of their cars
19. work in the white house
20. pay off my loans
the important thing about whoa! dream big! lists is to have things you can do right away. i'm currently working on paying off my loans, but i could do a better job of it. i also think i need to work on reading the great books and staying in touch with those who lift my spirits.
micro actions:
1. stop browsing the internet for things to buy. it really doesn't make me happier
2. spend that time reading a new book on kindle
3. start saving that money for a trip to oregon to visit betsy. i need her help with the rest of this list.
i have to remind myself that you can't meet your goals if you don't have any. so here's to having goals.
i sat in a coffee shop in tacoma in the early spring with my sister, my very best friend in the whole world, and we discussed the impending doom of college graduation. we had decisions to make, grown up ones. we were exactly the same age, but we had very different choices in front of us. while betsy sat wondering how to not make the easy choice to follow her partner wherever he went, i breathed the damp pacific air, mixed with the strong bitterness of my espresso and felt the twinge of regret that i had not been brave enough to move across the country at 18. i was jealous of my sister's laidback and yet fierce disposition, a product of spending 4 years in hippie heaven. the land where people wear chacos year round and no one uses an umbrella. we made a list of things that we wanted to do. bold things. inspired things. it was our whoa! dream big! list, and it truly led us to take bold and inspired steps towards dreams that spoke to our souls.
betsy moved to the catskills, lived alone in a cabin, and learned from a farmer named amy how to make medicine out of plants. she picked blueberries, baked pie, drank moonshine brewed by the neighbors, and fell asleep to the mooing of shaggy cows outside her door.
i spent an entire summer in the sierra mountains. i hiked to 9,000 ft, carried buckets of water from a raging river, and washed my clothes naked in the same river. i woke at sunrise, put in an honest day's work, flexed my muscles, lost weight that had been holding me back for far too long, and fell in love with the world. i saw the sun set every night from my tent, watched the moon rise over mountain lakes, and literally moved mountains to create monuments in the wilderness. i lost someone i didn't even know meant the world to me, i found the person i was always supposed to be, and it was all because of that day in the coffee shop when my sister and i decided that we were the authors of our own destiny.
it helps me to remind myself that adventures start the same way. every time. unsettled, restless frustration. searching, feeling lost, knowing that the world is out there having fun without you.
so hear is my whoa! dream big! list, part 2.
i want to...
1. become a dedicated practitioner of yoga.
2. have a job that has a direct, positive effect on people's lives. e.g. massage therapist, yoga teacher, youth leader in some sort of natural setting, city planner in charge of turning highways into bike lanes
3. become an expert gardener, growing 80%+ of the food i consume
4. live someplace where i can subsist off of the food i can grow (preferably including avocados)
5. live my life car-free
6. spend a significant part of my time in creative processes
7. travel to ancient places
8. eat a completely whole foods diet, as raw as possible
9. get a PhD in something that blows my socks off. political science mixed with feminist theory and community development, public health and philosophy and art.
10. see ani difranco in concert again. preferably with my sissy.
11. hike back through the stanislaus to see my rock wall and revisit the places that still hold pieces of my heart
12. publish a memoir
13. stay in touch with my spiritual inspiration.
14. travel around south america, without an agenda
15. read as many great books as possible
16. stay in touch with the people that brighten my life
17. focus on being positive and enjoying the small moments in life
18. be part of a movement that puts people on bikes, on foot or on buses and out of their cars
19. work in the white house
20. pay off my loans
the important thing about whoa! dream big! lists is to have things you can do right away. i'm currently working on paying off my loans, but i could do a better job of it. i also think i need to work on reading the great books and staying in touch with those who lift my spirits.
micro actions:
1. stop browsing the internet for things to buy. it really doesn't make me happier
2. spend that time reading a new book on kindle
3. start saving that money for a trip to oregon to visit betsy. i need her help with the rest of this list.
i have to remind myself that you can't meet your goals if you don't have any. so here's to having goals.
grey
i feel restless.
time moves by quickly these days, weeks melting into months and years. what started as a new adventure in a new town is now my normal life. i see the same things every day, take the same route to work or to the grocery store or out to a restaurant i've been to at least 10 times or more. i stop at a corporate coffee shop for my caffeine fix and spend my days at a computer trying to get work done so that i can browse the web for shoes or rain coats or groupons and that is fun for me.
i look at my iphone hundreds of times a day, checking facebook and tumblr and reader trying to catch what's new in people's lives...people i know and people i don't. i find the fastest route to the pet store on google maps. i listen to music that makes me bored, but reminds me of the days when i was inspired by those songs. i ignore the news when i can since i feel helpless and because it reminds me of when i used to feel empowered.
i read something on a facebook that has been on my mind so much it surprises me.
colleen patrick goudreau wrote:
"most people
want to
make a difference,
but sometimes they forget
that in order to make a difference,
you have to
do something different."
it's easy to be complacent, and make excuses for all of the above, when you're doing a whole lot already to make a difference. i don't eat animals, and i don't drive cars. i also try to recycle and use my own grocery bags. i buy organic and local when possible. i speak up against sexism, homophobia and racism.
some people think these things are radical. maybe they are, but i have never felt like it was enough. it's literally the least i can do. it's the baseline. the minimum. the starting point. from here, i need to go somewhere. somewhere radical.
i'm old enough and wise enough to know that when i get restless, i need to keep pushing through. like pigeon pose in yoga, i need to let the yucky stuff out to start to feel liberated. i have to muse and simmer and have a few (okay, several) meltdowns to start to see the next step in this life.
some good friends have seen me through this kind of restlessness before: yoga, writing, music, and talking with my kindred spirits. i remember sitting in a coffee shop in tacoma with betsy, both of us feeling frustrated and restless about the end of college, not knowing where to go next. feeling uninspired and lost. we made a list. we called it "whoa! dream big", after the brilliant line in "juno". weeks later, i decided to fly across the country to live in the woods for five months. betsy found a farm in the catskills to work as an apprentice in medicinal herbs and picking blueberries.
yoga, writing, music, and spirits are good friends during these darker times. although these things become harder and harder to do outside of the glorious setting of academia, i will seek them out. i refuse to let go of that spark that has always moved me towards speaking my truth and taking my own path through life. it is the same spark that led me to a year in europe, to a summer in the mountains of california, and to a new life in this lovely little town i now call home.
the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey
i feel right at home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my ways,
i smoke and i drink, and every time i blink i have a tiny dream
as bad as i am, i'm proud of the fact i am worse than i seem
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still want more
- ani difranco
on my list, for now, is taking advantage of the groupon i bought for yoga classes, getting a massage when i come back from the dominican republic, and getting excited about christmas lights, taking the solstice off from work (finally) and welcoming the light back into my life.
and listening to lots of ani difranco. that girl's got some sense, for real.
time moves by quickly these days, weeks melting into months and years. what started as a new adventure in a new town is now my normal life. i see the same things every day, take the same route to work or to the grocery store or out to a restaurant i've been to at least 10 times or more. i stop at a corporate coffee shop for my caffeine fix and spend my days at a computer trying to get work done so that i can browse the web for shoes or rain coats or groupons and that is fun for me.
i look at my iphone hundreds of times a day, checking facebook and tumblr and reader trying to catch what's new in people's lives...people i know and people i don't. i find the fastest route to the pet store on google maps. i listen to music that makes me bored, but reminds me of the days when i was inspired by those songs. i ignore the news when i can since i feel helpless and because it reminds me of when i used to feel empowered.
i read something on a facebook that has been on my mind so much it surprises me.
colleen patrick goudreau wrote:
"most people
want to
make a difference,
but sometimes they forget
that in order to make a difference,
you have to
do something different."
it's easy to be complacent, and make excuses for all of the above, when you're doing a whole lot already to make a difference. i don't eat animals, and i don't drive cars. i also try to recycle and use my own grocery bags. i buy organic and local when possible. i speak up against sexism, homophobia and racism.
some people think these things are radical. maybe they are, but i have never felt like it was enough. it's literally the least i can do. it's the baseline. the minimum. the starting point. from here, i need to go somewhere. somewhere radical.
i'm old enough and wise enough to know that when i get restless, i need to keep pushing through. like pigeon pose in yoga, i need to let the yucky stuff out to start to feel liberated. i have to muse and simmer and have a few (okay, several) meltdowns to start to see the next step in this life.
some good friends have seen me through this kind of restlessness before: yoga, writing, music, and talking with my kindred spirits. i remember sitting in a coffee shop in tacoma with betsy, both of us feeling frustrated and restless about the end of college, not knowing where to go next. feeling uninspired and lost. we made a list. we called it "whoa! dream big", after the brilliant line in "juno". weeks later, i decided to fly across the country to live in the woods for five months. betsy found a farm in the catskills to work as an apprentice in medicinal herbs and picking blueberries.
yoga, writing, music, and spirits are good friends during these darker times. although these things become harder and harder to do outside of the glorious setting of academia, i will seek them out. i refuse to let go of that spark that has always moved me towards speaking my truth and taking my own path through life. it is the same spark that led me to a year in europe, to a summer in the mountains of california, and to a new life in this lovely little town i now call home.
the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey
i feel right at home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my ways,
i smoke and i drink, and every time i blink i have a tiny dream
as bad as i am, i'm proud of the fact i am worse than i seem
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still want more
- ani difranco
on my list, for now, is taking advantage of the groupon i bought for yoga classes, getting a massage when i come back from the dominican republic, and getting excited about christmas lights, taking the solstice off from work (finally) and welcoming the light back into my life.
and listening to lots of ani difranco. that girl's got some sense, for real.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)