Someday, the light will shine like a sun through my skin & they will say, What have you done with your life? & though there are many moments I think I will remember, in the end, I will be proud to say, I was one of us.
Monday, October 26, 2009
One of Us.
Someday, the light will shine like a sun through my skin & they will say, What have you done with your life? & though there are many moments I think I will remember, in the end, I will be proud to say, I was one of us.
Life Plan
I asked her what she planned to do with her life & she said she was way beyond that point already. I'm just happy I remember to be there when it happens, she said.
[brian andreas]
Memory
i've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who i'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who i am.
[brian andreas]
This month's theme for Soul Matters is "memory." The first part of our assignment is simple: What is your first memory? I've thought about this before, and I always go to the moment when I walked into the living room of what was our new house on Douglas street. I was about three, and I was very impressed by the dark red shag carpeting. The only problem that I have with that memory is that I'm pretty sure it's not mine. My mom used to always tell me that, at that moment, I exclaimed that I wanted the living room to be my room. And so I'm not sure it's authentic. While I thought about this last summer, I remembered the time when I asked my mom how to spell my name. My backcountry crew was asked to recall when we first realized our individuality, and that memory really stands out to me. Understanding that each person has a different name (generally) really confirms that we exist within our own identities. So that's my first memory.
The next part of the assignment asks us to rediscover a memento from the past that has disappeared on the mantle, one that we want to dust off and display once more. I'm not sure yet what I'll choose. I assume it would be some memento from my travels, but perhaps not. I'll have to go through my things and see what I can find.
The third part of our assignment is passing on our memories. That's where this blog (and the other two I have) come in handy. I have plenty of stories that I've accumulated over the years (again, mostly from my travels) and I am looking forward to reading them over and finding ones to share. I also hope to spend a lot more time this month recording my memories here. I really have so much that I need to write about. This is good motivation to do so.
Rev. Forrest Church said, "Who we are today is in large measure determined by what we choose to remember and how we choose to remember it." I think it's important to remember that we are making a legacy of our lives, and that we need not only make wild and beautiful memories, but we need to remember those moments with the dignity and imagination that they deserve. All my most beautiful memories come from moments when I felt awed or inspired by what I saw, heard, smelled, felt and even tasted. Opening to the magic of the moment helps us remember better.
We all have stories, and we should all be story-tellers. What's your story?
[brian andreas]
This month's theme for Soul Matters is "memory." The first part of our assignment is simple: What is your first memory? I've thought about this before, and I always go to the moment when I walked into the living room of what was our new house on Douglas street. I was about three, and I was very impressed by the dark red shag carpeting. The only problem that I have with that memory is that I'm pretty sure it's not mine. My mom used to always tell me that, at that moment, I exclaimed that I wanted the living room to be my room. And so I'm not sure it's authentic. While I thought about this last summer, I remembered the time when I asked my mom how to spell my name. My backcountry crew was asked to recall when we first realized our individuality, and that memory really stands out to me. Understanding that each person has a different name (generally) really confirms that we exist within our own identities. So that's my first memory.
The next part of the assignment asks us to rediscover a memento from the past that has disappeared on the mantle, one that we want to dust off and display once more. I'm not sure yet what I'll choose. I assume it would be some memento from my travels, but perhaps not. I'll have to go through my things and see what I can find.
The third part of our assignment is passing on our memories. That's where this blog (and the other two I have) come in handy. I have plenty of stories that I've accumulated over the years (again, mostly from my travels) and I am looking forward to reading them over and finding ones to share. I also hope to spend a lot more time this month recording my memories here. I really have so much that I need to write about. This is good motivation to do so.
Rev. Forrest Church said, "Who we are today is in large measure determined by what we choose to remember and how we choose to remember it." I think it's important to remember that we are making a legacy of our lives, and that we need not only make wild and beautiful memories, but we need to remember those moments with the dignity and imagination that they deserve. All my most beautiful memories come from moments when I felt awed or inspired by what I saw, heard, smelled, felt and even tasted. Opening to the magic of the moment helps us remember better.
We all have stories, and we should all be story-tellers. What's your story?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Deep Listening
This month's topic for my "Soul Matters" group is Deep Listening. There are three parts to our assignment, and I really haven't done much with any of them. One is to listen to surroundings, to be in a familiar place like the supermarket or the park and to listen to what is going on. The next is to listen to someone close to us, to really listen to what they have to say and to keep them talking, rather than waiting for our turn to talk. The last part is listening to something we don't really want to listen to, be it conservative talk shows or a voice in our heads that has been persistently nagging us. I'm not so good with fitting into every assignment, and prefer to use it as a guide for my own experiences.
I should say that I have listened deeply to someone close to me. On several occasions I focused quite a bit on talking with Adam and Betsy about various things. It's a good reminder to be present during all of those everyday moments. And I do try.
The conversation, thou
gh, that really sticks out to me came from the day that I volunteered at our Project Homelessness Connect event in Rochester. AmeriCorps members participated that day in helping the organizers bring social services and agencies to homeless Rochesterians to assist them and provide them with services they need. It was, in general, a very uplifting and heartening experience. But one thing that really bothered me was that many people felt they needed to cut in line or push people around so that they got what they needed. That is totally normal, when so many homeless people have to compete for a place in line for food, clothing and shelter EVERY NIGHT. I just wish that the organizers did more to make sure this was not a "survival of the fittest" type experience for anyone. But it was, and here's my story.
I was an escort for different individuals to help them find the resources they were looking for. Later in the afternoon, I walked around with Mike, a retired Marine who was going through a divorce. He was nice enough, though pretty suspicious of me (or a least uncomfortable walking around with me). It was strange to be helping a man that truly reminded me so much of my dad. We were waiting in line for the barber for over an hour (!!), and had been chatting with another man in front of us, when a 19-year-0ld kid cut in line. Now, we had been waiting for a long time, but there weren't many people in line and it was taking SO long that I can understand why the man in front of us got upset. But he grabbed the kids arm and told him to get back, that we were all waiting in line and that it was rude of him to cut. He was quite angry and the kid got angry too. Eventually, they were yelling at me to do something because I had some kind of authority. But I did not know what to do. So I said nothing. They kind of eyed each other for a while, muttering things, the boy not moving from his spot. The man looked to me again and said I had to do something, and the boy came over to talk to me. He was flipping out, yelling that he was bi-polar and that he blacks out when he gets angry and starts punching people, so that man definitely did not want to mess with him. And I simply said to him that everyone was waiting patiently and would he be okay just waiting in line with me instead. He was a bit hesitant at first, still insisting that he could definitely hurt that guy if he touched him again. But then he just started talking. He told me all about his mental health problems, about problems in his life and past, and he started to settle down. I asked him questions about his life and issues he had, and eventually he was fine. We talked a lot, and he told me everything. Everyone got their hair cut, and no one threw a punch. It was scary, but once I knew what to say, I was in complete control. And I have to think that in a small way I help that boy.
I know that a year ago I could have never stepped in on this disagreement, and I would never have known how to talk to this kid. But after a year of working with teens, I really do know how to talk to them, and, more importantly, how to respect them. They mostly just need someone who will listen to them, not judge them, and offer them advice, not a lecture.
And so, although I make an effort to listen deeply to all aspects of my life, today I am proud that when it REALLY counted, I was there to listen. And it really helped.
<3
I should say that I have listened deeply to someone close to me. On several occasions I focused quite a bit on talking with Adam and Betsy about various things. It's a good reminder to be present during all of those everyday moments. And I do try.
The conversation, thou
gh, that really sticks out to me came from the day that I volunteered at our Project Homelessness Connect event in Rochester. AmeriCorps members participated that day in helping the organizers bring social services and agencies to homeless Rochesterians to assist them and provide them with services they need. It was, in general, a very uplifting and heartening experience. But one thing that really bothered me was that many people felt they needed to cut in line or push people around so that they got what they needed. That is totally normal, when so many homeless people have to compete for a place in line for food, clothing and shelter EVERY NIGHT. I just wish that the organizers did more to make sure this was not a "survival of the fittest" type experience for anyone. But it was, and here's my story.I was an escort for different individuals to help them find the resources they were looking for. Later in the afternoon, I walked around with Mike, a retired Marine who was going through a divorce. He was nice enough, though pretty suspicious of me (or a least uncomfortable walking around with me). It was strange to be helping a man that truly reminded me so much of my dad. We were waiting in line for the barber for over an hour (!!), and had been chatting with another man in front of us, when a 19-year-0ld kid cut in line. Now, we had been waiting for a long time, but there weren't many people in line and it was taking SO long that I can understand why the man in front of us got upset. But he grabbed the kids arm and told him to get back, that we were all waiting in line and that it was rude of him to cut. He was quite angry and the kid got angry too. Eventually, they were yelling at me to do something because I had some kind of authority. But I did not know what to do. So I said nothing. They kind of eyed each other for a while, muttering things, the boy not moving from his spot. The man looked to me again and said I had to do something, and the boy came over to talk to me. He was flipping out, yelling that he was bi-polar and that he blacks out when he gets angry and starts punching people, so that man definitely did not want to mess with him. And I simply said to him that everyone was waiting patiently and would he be okay just waiting in line with me instead. He was a bit hesitant at first, still insisting that he could definitely hurt that guy if he touched him again. But then he just started talking. He told me all about his mental health problems, about problems in his life and past, and he started to settle down. I asked him questions about his life and issues he had, and eventually he was fine. We talked a lot, and he told me everything. Everyone got their hair cut, and no one threw a punch. It was scary, but once I knew what to say, I was in complete control. And I have to think that in a small way I help that boy.
I know that a year ago I could have never stepped in on this disagreement, and I would never have known how to talk to this kid. But after a year of working with teens, I really do know how to talk to them, and, more importantly, how to respect them. They mostly just need someone who will listen to them, not judge them, and offer them advice, not a lecture.
And so, although I make an effort to listen deeply to all aspects of my life, today I am proud that when it REALLY counted, I was there to listen. And it really helped.
<3
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Hospitality
I am in a "Soul Matters" group at my church where I meet with a small group to talk about personal, spiritual and universal topics. I joined this group through my "Starting Point" class, which is what made me decide to join First Unitarian of Rochester. Every month, our church focuses on a different topic, which is tied together by a yearly theme. This year's theme is UU values. Some people, even members of UU churches, are under the impression that, in Unitarian Universalism, you can believe whatever you want to believe. Not so. We are tied together by a collection of values that embody our faith in each other and in the time we spend on this earth. So our first topic for September is "Hospitality." For our homecoming service, everyone is supposed to have reflected on something that they need to "welcome in" to their lives, and then bring a symbol of that gift of grace that comes from being open. And in our Soul Matters group, we will have a chance to talk about that symbol and the process of searching for that "thing" to welcome in.
I've thought about this off and on throughout the summer, without ever seriously considering it. But now, as the deadline closes in, I've realized a very obvious "stranger" that I need to begin to welcome in. It's family.
Since I went to college, family has been a somewhat abstract connection to the life I had before I began to travel and transform my life. I went to college close to home, so it seems like I would have remained close with my family, but that's not the case. I talked to my mom on the phone every couple of weeks and to my dad even less. I went home to East Lansing to hang out with friends, go to Hilaire's yoga classes and shop at Barnes & Noble and Urban Outfitters. I saw my mom whenever I went home, and at holidays my whole family would convene for Catholic mass, family dinners and short sessions of "catching up". And then it was off to my next adventure.
In between summer vacation and Christmas, I was traveling to Puerto Rico, Spain and California. I met hundreds of people along the way, made lasting friendships and met curious and fascinating people that dissolved from my life as quickly as they appeared. I had two Spanish families and a "mama Morocco", a college family, a study abroad family, and various other groups of friends that kept me busy. After a year of living abroad, I stopped relying so much on phone conversations and more on myself. It's just how I finished growing up.
What made me realize that it was time to bring family back into my life was thinking about my newborn nephew, Teddy. I have seen pictures of him and even heard him over the phone, but I have yet to see him. He is nearly four weeks old, and I won't see him until he is more than 6 weeks old. And that makes me sad, and disappointed. I don't like that it takes more than a quick drive to see my nephew, and that my mom only comes to visit once a year. There are a lot of factors that make it more difficult than it has to be. I don't have my own car, and I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on plane or train tickets. But it shouldn't be this hard.
Something that has been bothering me consistently is how distant I feel from my brother and how, even though he has a new son, it's not that strange that I haven't called him in weeks. I never sent them a card and I haven't talked to his wife, my sister-in-law, at all. I just feel disconnected. And yet Teddy is my nephew, and I have the privilege of being a very important person in his life. I don't want to be distant from him, to never know much about him or to miss him growing up. There is an obvious connection, though, between how I am involved in his new life and how I have been involved in Patrick's life. Just because he has a son does not mean we are suddenly the best of friends, talk all the time and know everything about each other. And I don't ever see that happening. But I think that I can't be surprised that I am physically and figuratively distant from his birth and start of life.
I talked to my mom on the phone today, and I kept thinking that I had been meaning to call her for weeks now. I haven't talked to Stephen on the phone in a long time, and I hardly even see Betsy, even though I live with her! I get so wrapped up in my own life that I never think to call and catch up with my family. I love all of them and am so happy that they are all doing so well, but it's hard staying in touch with all of them.
I plan on bringing a photo of Teddy to church, a symbol of the gift of family and babies and new beginnings. He is a reminder that family is a gift of grace, and needs constant attention and participation to truly enjoy. Babies are good reminders.
I've thought about this off and on throughout the summer, without ever seriously considering it. But now, as the deadline closes in, I've realized a very obvious "stranger" that I need to begin to welcome in. It's family.
Since I went to college, family has been a somewhat abstract connection to the life I had before I began to travel and transform my life. I went to college close to home, so it seems like I would have remained close with my family, but that's not the case. I talked to my mom on the phone every couple of weeks and to my dad even less. I went home to East Lansing to hang out with friends, go to Hilaire's yoga classes and shop at Barnes & Noble and Urban Outfitters. I saw my mom whenever I went home, and at holidays my whole family would convene for Catholic mass, family dinners and short sessions of "catching up". And then it was off to my next adventure.
In between summer vacation and Christmas, I was traveling to Puerto Rico, Spain and California. I met hundreds of people along the way, made lasting friendships and met curious and fascinating people that dissolved from my life as quickly as they appeared. I had two Spanish families and a "mama Morocco", a college family, a study abroad family, and various other groups of friends that kept me busy. After a year of living abroad, I stopped relying so much on phone conversations and more on myself. It's just how I finished growing up.
What made me realize that it was time to bring family back into my life was thinking about my newborn nephew, Teddy. I have seen pictures of him and even heard him over the phone, but I have yet to see him. He is nearly four weeks old, and I won't see him until he is more than 6 weeks old. And that makes me sad, and disappointed. I don't like that it takes more than a quick drive to see my nephew, and that my mom only comes to visit once a year. There are a lot of factors that make it more difficult than it has to be. I don't have my own car, and I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on plane or train tickets. But it shouldn't be this hard.
Something that has been bothering me consistently is how distant I feel from my brother and how, even though he has a new son, it's not that strange that I haven't called him in weeks. I never sent them a card and I haven't talked to his wife, my sister-in-law, at all. I just feel disconnected. And yet Teddy is my nephew, and I have the privilege of being a very important person in his life. I don't want to be distant from him, to never know much about him or to miss him growing up. There is an obvious connection, though, between how I am involved in his new life and how I have been involved in Patrick's life. Just because he has a son does not mean we are suddenly the best of friends, talk all the time and know everything about each other. And I don't ever see that happening. But I think that I can't be surprised that I am physically and figuratively distant from his birth and start of life.
I talked to my mom on the phone today, and I kept thinking that I had been meaning to call her for weeks now. I haven't talked to Stephen on the phone in a long time, and I hardly even see Betsy, even though I live with her! I get so wrapped up in my own life that I never think to call and catch up with my family. I love all of them and am so happy that they are all doing so well, but it's hard staying in touch with all of them.
I plan on bringing a photo of Teddy to church, a symbol of the gift of family and babies and new beginnings. He is a reminder that family is a gift of grace, and needs constant attention and participation to truly enjoy. Babies are good reminders.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
compassionate meanderings...
I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life.
Heck, I don't even know what I want to do in two months when my Americorps term ends.
In a lot of ways, I'm okay with this not-knowing. It means that I can do anything, and I'm glad to have those options open. Especially because I feel that my life is still shifting and readjusting. I must be 24...
To try to make sense of my values and vision, so that soon I might be able to synthesize this into a five-year-plan, I'm going to explain what I know I believe in.
Compassion:
The mother of a good friend from middle school once told me that I was compassionate. At her house, my friends and I were discussing who was the "girl next door" and I figured I was. Being naive, I thought that term simply meant I was normal, unassuming and generally well-liked. But when she insisted that I wasn't a "girl-next-door", that I was such a compassionate young woman, I was confused, and touched. I guess I've carried that with me all those years. It was like a charge, a prophecy I was meant to live out. I am compassionate, and thus my life should be an example of compassion. I know I don't always live up to this trait, but I do believe in it with all of my heart. Caring about others and exercising non-judgment creates a space between us in which people can unload their worries and judgments, and then find the courage to move beyond adversity, and soar.
It is because of my commitment to compassion that I am so excited about speaking out against animal cruelty. Animal rights, human rights, women's rights, civil rights and all other forms of advocacy to marginalized groups have the same root evil: oppression. And nearly all of the acts of cruelty and oppression in this world are committed by one small group of power-hungry, greedy and violent human beings who believe they are entitled to everything in God's creation. In the past, men felt like they were entitled to women's bodies, slave labor, animal flesh and political power. But as time goes on, the human consciousness becomes aware of the immoral paradigms that define and enslave us. We are tied to our history of violence and exploitation, and strangely, we cling to it!
Across the board, those who belong to a privileged group find comfort and protection in the status quo, and even after they become enlightened to the atrocities of oppression, they can't see how the world could be any different. Women support patriarchy because, thanks to patriarchy, they live in a system in which they are sheltered, provided for and asked to do very little. But that same system makes it obligatory to sacrifice a woman's body to men's sexual desires (physical or simply visual), suffer ridicule, abuse and humiliation, and live as second-class citizens. It often takes quite a bit of nudging for women new to feminism to wash their hands of the so-called "security" of supporting masculine power. It is the same with any form of oppression.
As I wrote in my last post, it is so easy to support the status quo, because the messages that rationalize privilege are ingrained in us. But move just a smidge beyond those lies, and you will see things exceptionally clearly. It happened exactly that way when I finally understood and embraced feminism. And it is the same now, as I am uncovering the layers of ways in which we enslave, oppress and exploit non-human animals.
I've been thinking lately about how glad I am that I decided to be vegan--especially because I know I am doing something that is true to my values. I never have to feel hypocritical or compromising, at least when it comes to my food choices. It is a grand feeling to exude ethics on a daily basis. I am living in a way that is compassionate and intentional. When I talk to people about going vegan, I tell them that it was the best decision I've ever made (along with living in the mountains!). All of the initial "cons" that I imagined just melt away when I realize the impact my decisions have on ending oppression everywhere. When I choose compassion, I am fighting against racism, sexism, speciesism and any other -ism that exploits living things. Maybe I can't have anything I want a a restaurant, but by asking for those options and only eating things that align with my values, I can have a positive impact on changing this system. Someday all restaurants will have options for cruelty-free foods, and many will ONLY serve those options. Anyway, my advice is this: Once you take the plunge, you won't regret it, even if you have to say "no, thank you" to those scrumptious-looking chocolate cookies. Besides, you can make your own delicious cruelty-free cookies, and feel even better about them because you made them, and made them with compassion.
I'm writing about all of this because I'm so blown-away by my passion for it. For the last two hours I have been reading the newsletter for "Mercy For Animals," a blog about human exceptionalism, and an article about Race, Species and Dehumanization. I'm so amazed that I spent this much of my life unaware of the cruelty we demand for tasty burgers and chicken nuggets. And it's hard, having learned so much about animal rights and liberation, knowing that it's not so obvious or compelling to most people.
Yesterday, I found out that a girl who I had talked to only a couple of weeks ago about being vegan had decided to go vegan too. I know that a combination of talking to me about it, along with other positive influences and empowerment on Greta's part, helped her make that decision, and I'm thrilled. It's strange though, because already her family is outraged. ANGRY. About her wanting to live in a way that doesn't hurt others? It's insane. And that makes me more aware of the deep connection people have with their food. Even in the short time that I have been vegan, I have been pelted with arguments FOR eating meat that lack empathy, concern and true rationalism.
Most arguments against veganism are a defense mechanism, because veganism threatens to shed light on a subject about which we have been happily ignorant since before the 1950s, since before we started mutilating, torturing, drugging and violently slaughtering non-human animals for our exponentially increasing demand for meat. Most people I talk to who are rational, compassionate people in general but who eat meat admit that they "just don't think about the animals' suffering." And that's a problem. If you compare it to driving cars, accruing and throwing out excessive waste, or buying clothes made in sweatshops, you see that we are constantly turning a blind eye to the ways in which we are destroying our planet. And worse, we are participating in a system that is cruel and unmerciful. And it is senseless, ignorant, and lazy. Creating a disconnect between the pasture and plate is exactly what farm industry wants you to do. We are hypnotized by Beef commercials and tantalized by sexy women with milk mustaches on Got Milk? ads and we are made to think that if we just plug our noses and chug that we will be satisfied with this scenario. And it's not okay.
There are some amazing organizations that provide resources to help make a vegan lifestyle doable. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Vegan Outreach: http://www.veganoutreach.org/guide/
Mercy for Animals: http://www.mfablog.org/
Also, this is random, but I found a profile on Vegan Outreach of Jenna Calabrese, one of Adam's close friends. She's so great! Check her out: http://www.veganoutreach.org/enewsletter/jenna.html
I guess at this point I really feel like I care most about living compassionately, but next time I write I promise I'll include my passion for the Bitone Center, Local Economy and Bike Commuting.
Heck, I don't even know what I want to do in two months when my Americorps term ends.
In a lot of ways, I'm okay with this not-knowing. It means that I can do anything, and I'm glad to have those options open. Especially because I feel that my life is still shifting and readjusting. I must be 24...
To try to make sense of my values and vision, so that soon I might be able to synthesize this into a five-year-plan, I'm going to explain what I know I believe in.
Compassion:
The mother of a good friend from middle school once told me that I was compassionate. At her house, my friends and I were discussing who was the "girl next door" and I figured I was. Being naive, I thought that term simply meant I was normal, unassuming and generally well-liked. But when she insisted that I wasn't a "girl-next-door", that I was such a compassionate young woman, I was confused, and touched. I guess I've carried that with me all those years. It was like a charge, a prophecy I was meant to live out. I am compassionate, and thus my life should be an example of compassion. I know I don't always live up to this trait, but I do believe in it with all of my heart. Caring about others and exercising non-judgment creates a space between us in which people can unload their worries and judgments, and then find the courage to move beyond adversity, and soar.
It is because of my commitment to compassion that I am so excited about speaking out against animal cruelty. Animal rights, human rights, women's rights, civil rights and all other forms of advocacy to marginalized groups have the same root evil: oppression. And nearly all of the acts of cruelty and oppression in this world are committed by one small group of power-hungry, greedy and violent human beings who believe they are entitled to everything in God's creation. In the past, men felt like they were entitled to women's bodies, slave labor, animal flesh and political power. But as time goes on, the human consciousness becomes aware of the immoral paradigms that define and enslave us. We are tied to our history of violence and exploitation, and strangely, we cling to it!
Across the board, those who belong to a privileged group find comfort and protection in the status quo, and even after they become enlightened to the atrocities of oppression, they can't see how the world could be any different. Women support patriarchy because, thanks to patriarchy, they live in a system in which they are sheltered, provided for and asked to do very little. But that same system makes it obligatory to sacrifice a woman's body to men's sexual desires (physical or simply visual), suffer ridicule, abuse and humiliation, and live as second-class citizens. It often takes quite a bit of nudging for women new to feminism to wash their hands of the so-called "security" of supporting masculine power. It is the same with any form of oppression.
As I wrote in my last post, it is so easy to support the status quo, because the messages that rationalize privilege are ingrained in us. But move just a smidge beyond those lies, and you will see things exceptionally clearly. It happened exactly that way when I finally understood and embraced feminism. And it is the same now, as I am uncovering the layers of ways in which we enslave, oppress and exploit non-human animals.
I've been thinking lately about how glad I am that I decided to be vegan--especially because I know I am doing something that is true to my values. I never have to feel hypocritical or compromising, at least when it comes to my food choices. It is a grand feeling to exude ethics on a daily basis. I am living in a way that is compassionate and intentional. When I talk to people about going vegan, I tell them that it was the best decision I've ever made (along with living in the mountains!). All of the initial "cons" that I imagined just melt away when I realize the impact my decisions have on ending oppression everywhere. When I choose compassion, I am fighting against racism, sexism, speciesism and any other -ism that exploits living things. Maybe I can't have anything I want a a restaurant, but by asking for those options and only eating things that align with my values, I can have a positive impact on changing this system. Someday all restaurants will have options for cruelty-free foods, and many will ONLY serve those options. Anyway, my advice is this: Once you take the plunge, you won't regret it, even if you have to say "no, thank you" to those scrumptious-looking chocolate cookies. Besides, you can make your own delicious cruelty-free cookies, and feel even better about them because you made them, and made them with compassion.
I'm writing about all of this because I'm so blown-away by my passion for it. For the last two hours I have been reading the newsletter for "Mercy For Animals," a blog about human exceptionalism, and an article about Race, Species and Dehumanization. I'm so amazed that I spent this much of my life unaware of the cruelty we demand for tasty burgers and chicken nuggets. And it's hard, having learned so much about animal rights and liberation, knowing that it's not so obvious or compelling to most people.
Yesterday, I found out that a girl who I had talked to only a couple of weeks ago about being vegan had decided to go vegan too. I know that a combination of talking to me about it, along with other positive influences and empowerment on Greta's part, helped her make that decision, and I'm thrilled. It's strange though, because already her family is outraged. ANGRY. About her wanting to live in a way that doesn't hurt others? It's insane. And that makes me more aware of the deep connection people have with their food. Even in the short time that I have been vegan, I have been pelted with arguments FOR eating meat that lack empathy, concern and true rationalism.
Most arguments against veganism are a defense mechanism, because veganism threatens to shed light on a subject about which we have been happily ignorant since before the 1950s, since before we started mutilating, torturing, drugging and violently slaughtering non-human animals for our exponentially increasing demand for meat. Most people I talk to who are rational, compassionate people in general but who eat meat admit that they "just don't think about the animals' suffering." And that's a problem. If you compare it to driving cars, accruing and throwing out excessive waste, or buying clothes made in sweatshops, you see that we are constantly turning a blind eye to the ways in which we are destroying our planet. And worse, we are participating in a system that is cruel and unmerciful. And it is senseless, ignorant, and lazy. Creating a disconnect between the pasture and plate is exactly what farm industry wants you to do. We are hypnotized by Beef commercials and tantalized by sexy women with milk mustaches on Got Milk? ads and we are made to think that if we just plug our noses and chug that we will be satisfied with this scenario. And it's not okay.
There are some amazing organizations that provide resources to help make a vegan lifestyle doable. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Vegan Outreach: http://www.veganoutreach.org/guide/
Mercy for Animals: http://www.mfablog.org/
Also, this is random, but I found a profile on Vegan Outreach of Jenna Calabrese, one of Adam's close friends. She's so great! Check her out: http://www.veganoutreach.org/enewsletter/jenna.html
I guess at this point I really feel like I care most about living compassionately, but next time I write I promise I'll include my passion for the Bitone Center, Local Economy and Bike Commuting.
Friday, August 7, 2009
this is why i'm vegan
more than three months ago, i decided to "go vegan." i think that's an awkward phrase because it makes it seem gimmicky and, in a way, temporary. "i went vegan once, but i got out of that quick." that's something that a girl selling vegan biscotti told me. i can say that i won't buy "biscotti for everybotti" ever again. if you ridicule your target consumer, you don't deserve their business. period. anyway, it's the catchphrases and cliches that really bog this issue down. looking at it from the inside out, i see how often people who are not vegan or who were never wholeheartedly vegan misunderstand and judge this compassionate choice. and it makes me think about all of these fringe groups that are so often the butt of jokes and the target of hate and discrimination.
the argument for eating meat is, to me, comparable to the argument for patriarchy. it is an age-old argument that is easily won. how can you argue against patriarchy when it is the dominant paradigm? that is what anti-feminists have been flaunting since feminism's inception. they have the points that always "make sense" because they are the generally accepted rule. but they are wrong. we know that about feminism. so what about the act of eating meat?
meat-eaters often point out to a vegan that "we have been eating meat for thousands of years. we evolved to be hunters and to have an omnivorous diet." even the beloved Michael Pollan, crusader-of-sorts for the semi-conscious eater, says that it is natural for us to eat animals. but there is nothing natural about the way that food animals are caged, drugged, and slaughtered for our "evolved" style of eating. there is no connection to the way we hunted only what we needed and held ceremonies to honor the slain animals. and there is no excuse for torturing and neglecting billions of animals. and anyway, just because we have been doing something for thousands of years does not mean that we have the right to continue doing it. in general, immorality is acceptable only as long as it can be excused by ignorance. once we reach enlightenment, every second wasted in inaction only diminishes our morality. and our humanity.
for the sake of keeping this personal, i'll stray now from ideology and paradigms (god, i love that word). it's sort of a strange thing to have become vegan and not have a big "coming out" party. is that weird? i am so proud of my decision and so glad that adam has helped me through this process so much. he is the most compassionate person i know and he is so understanding and empathic. i really feel like this solidifies my committment to peace and compassion for all things living and i'm just so damn proud of myself. so that's why it's hard when my boss makes rude comments and literally makes fun of me for not eating meat. and not eating any products that come from animals. i'm really proud of this part about me, and that makes it confusing when people think it's something weird or shameful. i make a decision every day on the side of compassion, and i'm not hurting anyone. and that makes me worthy of ridicule?
i suppose christians express this situation with the metaphor of "taking up the cross". i know that this is a difficult path that i have chosen to take but it is only difficult because of those who would try to make it difficult for me. i don't miss eating meat or cheese or eggs because i can no longer look at those things as food. they are parts of living things and that is either disgusting or disrespectful to eat.
this feeling did not develop the moment i saw an animal cruelty video. in fact, adam showed me his Fowl Play documentary and i continued to eat cheese and yogurt and butter. it's not easy to just eliminate these "normal" things from your diet. but once i gave it up and got over the cravings i had for those things, i realized how strange it was, to me, that we eat these things. "milk" is a cow's breast milk, meant for her calves. it does not flow from her constantly, which is a common misconception. dairy cows are regularly bred so that they always make milk (imagine if we had a factory where women were raped to produce milk for other people's children). eggs are a chicken's dead embryo, and therefore we are eating the result of the hen's menstruation. we wouldn't even think to consume the result of a human's menstrual cycle. and yet my boss tried, rather urgently, to tell one of my youths that she couldn't possibly live without eggs. i hope she wasn't listening very closely...
over the past three months, i have noticed a significant boost in my energy levels. i feel healthier and happier, and i have lost a little weight that was excess (i also bike commute, so that makes a difference too). i eat delicious food and find options everywhere, if limited. it is a bit expensive, but mostly because i am boycotting Wegmans, and only shop at the Abundance Food Co-op or the market. but i feel good about those decisions. i support locally owned and grown food, i boycott animal cruelty, and i live a healthy and happy life.
i thought about putting a disclaimer here, like, "i don't mean to call out the people who do eat meat" or "you can make your own choice about the food you eat" but i don't think that does this post justice. you don't have to agree with how i feel about eating cheese or eggs, but i really encourage you to consider that the argument for eating meat is archaic and based on capitalism and consumerism. it is age-old and it is heartless. eating vegan really is the most compassionate way to live your life. and that's why i'm vegan.
<3
the argument for eating meat is, to me, comparable to the argument for patriarchy. it is an age-old argument that is easily won. how can you argue against patriarchy when it is the dominant paradigm? that is what anti-feminists have been flaunting since feminism's inception. they have the points that always "make sense" because they are the generally accepted rule. but they are wrong. we know that about feminism. so what about the act of eating meat?
meat-eaters often point out to a vegan that "we have been eating meat for thousands of years. we evolved to be hunters and to have an omnivorous diet." even the beloved Michael Pollan, crusader-of-sorts for the semi-conscious eater, says that it is natural for us to eat animals. but there is nothing natural about the way that food animals are caged, drugged, and slaughtered for our "evolved" style of eating. there is no connection to the way we hunted only what we needed and held ceremonies to honor the slain animals. and there is no excuse for torturing and neglecting billions of animals. and anyway, just because we have been doing something for thousands of years does not mean that we have the right to continue doing it. in general, immorality is acceptable only as long as it can be excused by ignorance. once we reach enlightenment, every second wasted in inaction only diminishes our morality. and our humanity.
for the sake of keeping this personal, i'll stray now from ideology and paradigms (god, i love that word). it's sort of a strange thing to have become vegan and not have a big "coming out" party. is that weird? i am so proud of my decision and so glad that adam has helped me through this process so much. he is the most compassionate person i know and he is so understanding and empathic. i really feel like this solidifies my committment to peace and compassion for all things living and i'm just so damn proud of myself. so that's why it's hard when my boss makes rude comments and literally makes fun of me for not eating meat. and not eating any products that come from animals. i'm really proud of this part about me, and that makes it confusing when people think it's something weird or shameful. i make a decision every day on the side of compassion, and i'm not hurting anyone. and that makes me worthy of ridicule?
i suppose christians express this situation with the metaphor of "taking up the cross". i know that this is a difficult path that i have chosen to take but it is only difficult because of those who would try to make it difficult for me. i don't miss eating meat or cheese or eggs because i can no longer look at those things as food. they are parts of living things and that is either disgusting or disrespectful to eat.
this feeling did not develop the moment i saw an animal cruelty video. in fact, adam showed me his Fowl Play documentary and i continued to eat cheese and yogurt and butter. it's not easy to just eliminate these "normal" things from your diet. but once i gave it up and got over the cravings i had for those things, i realized how strange it was, to me, that we eat these things. "milk" is a cow's breast milk, meant for her calves. it does not flow from her constantly, which is a common misconception. dairy cows are regularly bred so that they always make milk (imagine if we had a factory where women were raped to produce milk for other people's children). eggs are a chicken's dead embryo, and therefore we are eating the result of the hen's menstruation. we wouldn't even think to consume the result of a human's menstrual cycle. and yet my boss tried, rather urgently, to tell one of my youths that she couldn't possibly live without eggs. i hope she wasn't listening very closely...
over the past three months, i have noticed a significant boost in my energy levels. i feel healthier and happier, and i have lost a little weight that was excess (i also bike commute, so that makes a difference too). i eat delicious food and find options everywhere, if limited. it is a bit expensive, but mostly because i am boycotting Wegmans, and only shop at the Abundance Food Co-op or the market. but i feel good about those decisions. i support locally owned and grown food, i boycott animal cruelty, and i live a healthy and happy life.
i thought about putting a disclaimer here, like, "i don't mean to call out the people who do eat meat" or "you can make your own choice about the food you eat" but i don't think that does this post justice. you don't have to agree with how i feel about eating cheese or eggs, but i really encourage you to consider that the argument for eating meat is archaic and based on capitalism and consumerism. it is age-old and it is heartless. eating vegan really is the most compassionate way to live your life. and that's why i'm vegan.
<3
Sunday, July 5, 2009
isn't it ironic...
when i ended my last post, i intended to head out on my bike for the evening, but what i did instead was stick around home and realize plans i had half-heartedly tried to make to attend the uganda lobby days conference in dc. instead of going to women's group, i bought a plane ticket and made arrangements to stay with a good friend from abroad. it was the best decision i've made this spring.
aside from being interesting, informative and inspiring, this trip was also full of irony. for example:
1. while i waited in the rochester airport to head to this peace rally, i was held up in my terminal by a plane-load of WWII vets exiting their plane to applause and standing ovations. ironic, considering i was on my way to protest war. and here they were, former soldiers, being honored by complete and total strangers. bizzare, to say the least.
2. i happened to be riding the same metro line that, while i was in DC, suffered a massive crash that killed 10 people, including the driver. although i was never near the stop and was in the conference when it happened, it was still surreal to take that same line the day after and watch the solemn and slightly nervous faces of my metro companions.
3. in a strange flow of conversation, i was invited to lunch with adam's ex-girlfriend, nicole. one of the girls in my new york delegation had been talking about how she had lost her cell phone and was trying to make sure she could still meet up with her friend for lunch. she discovered that i was vegan and excitedly invited me to go with her to lunch. she and "nicole" had worked for PETA one summer, traveling in a van and handing out vegan goodies, and she couldn't wait to see her again (ahem, she couldn't remember her last name though...) finally i realized it was the same nicole and very abrubtly declined. adam and i had joked about meeting up with her, but i was certainly not interested in having lunch with the woman adam lived with in his house for three years. even if i've already met her and think she's nice...
4. i made a friend at the conference, and we were driving around the city, looking for a gas station, when we ran out of gas. oh irony of all ironies.
5. i saw my friend alyssa's boyfriend biking around Adams Morgan, where i was staying with miriam (i met alyssa AND miriam in spain). then i found out alyssa had been the same place i was earlier, trying to catch glimpses of reese witherspoon shooting her latest film at the nearby starbucks.
so there you have it. there are other things worth blogging about, but i need to move on.
i quit my job at starbucks. my last day is next sunday. i couldn't be happier. i am a little sad that it limits my traveling abilities, but i can't wait to have those mornings to blog, read up on current events, job search, work on grad school apps and spend time with adam and betsy. our garden is exploding with fresh food and i need to get rid of a lot of things i don't need anymore. and there are many more books to read as well.
i'm getting more excited than ever about going back to school. i've been excited about clark university, but i just looked at uc-davis again, and i have a great feeling about it. i would love to live in davis, first of all, and i think the program would be great for me. i think the work that i'm doing now could really help me in the program, and depending on how i design my curriculum, i could get into agriculture, women's issues, sustainability, etc. one amazing thing about this program is that it's about building great communities that help protect our environment and take care of people, and davis is such an exemplary community. they also do extension work in sacramento, which is the most diverse city in the nation according to Time magazine. so it seems like a great model from which to learn. personally, i love that it is extremely close to the stanislaus, yosemite, tahoe and a host of other parks and forests for weekend hikes. and it's also the most bike-friendly city in the country. i think we're on the right track...
spending a year away from school, especially in environments that are extremely non-academic, i am thirsting for some brain stimulation and a chance to challenge myself. last year i wanted to give my brain a break, and it's been really good for me. i challenged my body and pushed it further than i ever thought it could go. i sat on mountain-tops, meditated on the shores of calm creeks and was nearly swept away in a raging river. i hiked 2 miles into the sky, carried all of my worldly possessions on my back. and now it's time to do all of that figuratively with my brain :) i can't wait to see what new adventures are waiting for me. just a few more months in americorps, and then who knows where i'll end up!
aside from being interesting, informative and inspiring, this trip was also full of irony. for example:
1. while i waited in the rochester airport to head to this peace rally, i was held up in my terminal by a plane-load of WWII vets exiting their plane to applause and standing ovations. ironic, considering i was on my way to protest war. and here they were, former soldiers, being honored by complete and total strangers. bizzare, to say the least.
2. i happened to be riding the same metro line that, while i was in DC, suffered a massive crash that killed 10 people, including the driver. although i was never near the stop and was in the conference when it happened, it was still surreal to take that same line the day after and watch the solemn and slightly nervous faces of my metro companions.
3. in a strange flow of conversation, i was invited to lunch with adam's ex-girlfriend, nicole. one of the girls in my new york delegation had been talking about how she had lost her cell phone and was trying to make sure she could still meet up with her friend for lunch. she discovered that i was vegan and excitedly invited me to go with her to lunch. she and "nicole" had worked for PETA one summer, traveling in a van and handing out vegan goodies, and she couldn't wait to see her again (ahem, she couldn't remember her last name though...) finally i realized it was the same nicole and very abrubtly declined. adam and i had joked about meeting up with her, but i was certainly not interested in having lunch with the woman adam lived with in his house for three years. even if i've already met her and think she's nice...
4. i made a friend at the conference, and we were driving around the city, looking for a gas station, when we ran out of gas. oh irony of all ironies.
5. i saw my friend alyssa's boyfriend biking around Adams Morgan, where i was staying with miriam (i met alyssa AND miriam in spain). then i found out alyssa had been the same place i was earlier, trying to catch glimpses of reese witherspoon shooting her latest film at the nearby starbucks.
so there you have it. there are other things worth blogging about, but i need to move on.
i quit my job at starbucks. my last day is next sunday. i couldn't be happier. i am a little sad that it limits my traveling abilities, but i can't wait to have those mornings to blog, read up on current events, job search, work on grad school apps and spend time with adam and betsy. our garden is exploding with fresh food and i need to get rid of a lot of things i don't need anymore. and there are many more books to read as well.
i'm getting more excited than ever about going back to school. i've been excited about clark university, but i just looked at uc-davis again, and i have a great feeling about it. i would love to live in davis, first of all, and i think the program would be great for me. i think the work that i'm doing now could really help me in the program, and depending on how i design my curriculum, i could get into agriculture, women's issues, sustainability, etc. one amazing thing about this program is that it's about building great communities that help protect our environment and take care of people, and davis is such an exemplary community. they also do extension work in sacramento, which is the most diverse city in the nation according to Time magazine. so it seems like a great model from which to learn. personally, i love that it is extremely close to the stanislaus, yosemite, tahoe and a host of other parks and forests for weekend hikes. and it's also the most bike-friendly city in the country. i think we're on the right track...
spending a year away from school, especially in environments that are extremely non-academic, i am thirsting for some brain stimulation and a chance to challenge myself. last year i wanted to give my brain a break, and it's been really good for me. i challenged my body and pushed it further than i ever thought it could go. i sat on mountain-tops, meditated on the shores of calm creeks and was nearly swept away in a raging river. i hiked 2 miles into the sky, carried all of my worldly possessions on my back. and now it's time to do all of that figuratively with my brain :) i can't wait to see what new adventures are waiting for me. just a few more months in americorps, and then who knows where i'll end up!
Monday, June 8, 2009
returning
hello blog, oh how i've missed you.
i can measure how long i've been dating adam by how long i've been absent on the internet. it's crazy how unappealing the internet seems when you've got a cute boy around. as much as i've enjoyed my hiatus from the addiction that is an online presence, i have to say i've missed my journaling.
it's not just adam that has taken me away from writing. i've remained horrendously busy working a full-time and a part-time job, bike commuting, and trying to maintain some sense of order in my home and a sufficient level of personal hygiene. all that and going on adventures with my amazing partner...it's no wonder i haven't had time to write about all that's going on!
so today, different from any other day, i happen to have the whole day off from both jobs and adam went home early to take care of things with his kitties, while i stayed to finish some housecleaning and organizing. this means i've putzed around long enough to feel like settling in to write before claire joins me on skype so we can catch up.
i've had a great day so far. i woke up and cleaned up the warzone in the kitchen from last night's indian dinner. i started some laundry, ate a bowl of soyogurt, and read a bit of my book about trees. eventually adam woke up and i made him oatmeal and he tinkered with iPhoney while i made some bulk food for the week. i'm going to be busy all day everyday until next monday, so i have to make sure i can feed myself on the run. some weeks i'm not so good about doing this on my days off, so i end up eating at dogtown three days a week and binge-eating vegan cookies fromt the co-op. i'm pleased with my foresight this time.
this is a bit of my routine since adam has come into my life. aside from the wild adventures we have together, which more often than not involve long bike rides and lots of vegan food. we split the week at my house and his, depending on my morning schedule at starbucks. he is good about letting out honey, my enormous white bunny rabbit, to hop around and nibble on the wood trim of just about everything in my bedroom. i clean her cage, give her a handful of food, make sure her water is full, and count on adam to make sure she's entertained when i'm not around. it's really hard to work so many hours and then spend every other hour (waking and sleeping) with adam, but it's all worth it.
we've been dating for about three months now, and i much prefer this life to my life before i met him. i had more time to think and reflect then, but all i had to think about was how unhappy i was and how much i wanted to go on adventures, here or anywhere else. those who know me know i love to write about how unhappy i am, but rarely how content i am with life. contentment is uninspiring, i suppose. there's nothing to work out.
i expect claire's call any minute, so i'm going to prepare to be on the phone for at least an hour. then i'm off to the women's group meeting at teen city before i meet adam and his friends at an asian restaurant for dinner. maybe i can come back here in about a week. it'd be nice to get back in the habit again...
i can measure how long i've been dating adam by how long i've been absent on the internet. it's crazy how unappealing the internet seems when you've got a cute boy around. as much as i've enjoyed my hiatus from the addiction that is an online presence, i have to say i've missed my journaling.
it's not just adam that has taken me away from writing. i've remained horrendously busy working a full-time and a part-time job, bike commuting, and trying to maintain some sense of order in my home and a sufficient level of personal hygiene. all that and going on adventures with my amazing partner...it's no wonder i haven't had time to write about all that's going on!
so today, different from any other day, i happen to have the whole day off from both jobs and adam went home early to take care of things with his kitties, while i stayed to finish some housecleaning and organizing. this means i've putzed around long enough to feel like settling in to write before claire joins me on skype so we can catch up.
i've had a great day so far. i woke up and cleaned up the warzone in the kitchen from last night's indian dinner. i started some laundry, ate a bowl of soyogurt, and read a bit of my book about trees. eventually adam woke up and i made him oatmeal and he tinkered with iPhoney while i made some bulk food for the week. i'm going to be busy all day everyday until next monday, so i have to make sure i can feed myself on the run. some weeks i'm not so good about doing this on my days off, so i end up eating at dogtown three days a week and binge-eating vegan cookies fromt the co-op. i'm pleased with my foresight this time.
this is a bit of my routine since adam has come into my life. aside from the wild adventures we have together, which more often than not involve long bike rides and lots of vegan food. we split the week at my house and his, depending on my morning schedule at starbucks. he is good about letting out honey, my enormous white bunny rabbit, to hop around and nibble on the wood trim of just about everything in my bedroom. i clean her cage, give her a handful of food, make sure her water is full, and count on adam to make sure she's entertained when i'm not around. it's really hard to work so many hours and then spend every other hour (waking and sleeping) with adam, but it's all worth it.
we've been dating for about three months now, and i much prefer this life to my life before i met him. i had more time to think and reflect then, but all i had to think about was how unhappy i was and how much i wanted to go on adventures, here or anywhere else. those who know me know i love to write about how unhappy i am, but rarely how content i am with life. contentment is uninspiring, i suppose. there's nothing to work out.
i expect claire's call any minute, so i'm going to prepare to be on the phone for at least an hour. then i'm off to the women's group meeting at teen city before i meet adam and his friends at an asian restaurant for dinner. maybe i can come back here in about a week. it'd be nice to get back in the habit again...
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