signs from above

I used to wait for a sign, she said, before I
did anything. Then one night I had a
dream & an angel in black tights came to
me & said, you can start any time now, &
then I asked is this a sign? & the angel
started laughing & I woke up. Now, I think
the whole world is filled with signs, but if
there's no laughter, I know they're not for me.

[brian andreas]

the whole world is filled with signs. i've always believed it, but this wisdom passed on to me by my mother has never seemed so true as now. a million signs have gently guided me on journeys small and grand, helped me make decisions and choose from a thousand paths that could have taken me anywhere in the world. signs are everywhere, and the more you listen to those little nudges from the universe, the more fun you'll have. i promise.

last night i spent the evening after work with a good friend, savoring food from my favorite little restaurant in rochester and enjoying pleasant conversation. once again i was reminded that, although i loved edinburgh and being with claire, it was good to be back home. home in rochester, with people and places that really make me feel like i belong in this strange new life.

as we were leaving dogtown, we stopped by teen city to get my bicycle. adam laughed at betsy's silly cruiser which i have adopted for the time being, until i can buy my own sweet ride. with headlamp strapped to helmet and handlebars sticking out like bug antennae, he said i was adorable. i'm sure it was closer to ridiculous. i took the compliment anyway. to put it into perspective, adam's sweet ride has bumper stickers, a back seat, speakers for cruising to good tunes, and flashing lights. it's kind of like comparing a harley to a crotch-rocket. without all the macho baggage, of course...

anyway, back to the signs!!! once we were sufficiently equipped with safety gear and had some good music flowing, we took off down monroe ave. i began to pass adam on the sidewalk, only to be completely bombarded by an enormous yellow sign that fell from the storefront 10 feet up. it clipped me in the head (thank goodness for my helmet!) and fell to the ground with that sheet-metal-thunder sound. shocked and simultaneously amused, i dismounted to inspect my attacker. this enormous yellow plastic sign that fell from the sky and hit me in the head, in fact, had the word "sign" on it. so there you have it: a "sign".

the reason why i was certain it really was a sign is that, upon our evaluation of the situation, adam and i fell into stitches of laughter, amused and befuddled by the irony of what had just happened. i was completely unhurt, and could only keep repeating "it's a sign! it's a sign!" as adam took pictures and laughed heartily. he strapped the sign to his back seat and after recovering from our fits of laughter, we resumed our night ride through the rain, still glowing with smiles. he rode home with me, presented me with "the sign" and gave me a nice hug. he rode away, and i brought the sign inside to show betsy and charlie. they were impressed and perplexed, which satisfied me.


i'm not sure what the purpose of this sign was. i know that we really had a lovely time together and it served to reinforce how much joy i think we both felt for the moment. it's not every day that a real sign bashes you in the head, and when it happens, you have to stop and think about what the universe is trying to tell you. i know for certain i will always wear my helmet when riding, and that i will continue to accept invitations to adventure with adam. it seems they are always rewarded with the most curious and mysterious of events. and lots and lots of laughter...

to scotland.

it's about time to leave for the airport.

i'm going to scotland :)

after quite the whirlwind, i've made it to another adventure...one involving passports, airports and time to think. it's my favorite thing in the world. i have a true addiction to it. i'm sitting here in my living room with my luggage in front of me, and there is nothing quite so satisfying as seeing all that work stuffed into a few small bags. i love preparing a suitcase with only the essentials, imagining what kind of journey i will be taking and what things i will need. starting with a large pile and slimming it down to a neat stack. little bottles of shampoo. batteries, snacks and something to read. plenty of socks and underwear.

a long time ago i discovered that this is what i wanted to live for. this is what i wanted my life to be. preparing for the next big adventure, taking the time to explore, grow and learn through challenging and exhilirating experiences. interacting with the whole world. this is what i'm meant to do. i'm not lucky, as one person said, except in that i am american, wealthy compared to the rest of the world and able-bodied. but all other things being equal, you have to want to do these things. it's been a rough little road up to today, losing my passport and finding it again, making financial sacrifices and taking risks, putting in extra hours at work, etc. but i've had so much faith in the beauty of adventure, the value of getting out in the world and taking the time to live, to truly live, in this world, that nothing has made this trip not worth it.

charlie should be here soon to take me to the airport. let's see what scotland has in store for claire bear and me...

begin again.

it is suddenly march.

the beginning. and the end.

last wednesday was ash wednesday, and now we are past the threshold of winter. we may be pummeled by snow storms yet, but winter is losing its battle. the time to start over has come, and there is no stopping it.

in less than 10 days, i will be boarding an airplane, destined for scotland. it will be my first international travel in two years. i won't be there long, but it will be enough. i am so unbelievably excited to see claire. we will get to celebrate her birthday early, visit the highlands and walk and walk and walk and talk and drink coffee. i'm looking forward so much to seeing this new life that she has in edinburgh, and maybe to give her my blessing to stay.

i would like to continue this entry, but i am about to get picked up on my vegan, animal rights, fellow UU-churchgoing friend's bicycle. details later :)