open letter to motorists

It finally has to be said.

Motorists drive me absolutely up the wall.

I can't tell you how many times I'm asked daily, "Did you ride your bike today?" And usually, no, almost always, it's because the weather is so crappy they can't imagine hopping on a bike to get to work. So that's a really nice way of saying "I bet you had a really shitty commute, huh?" The other 2% of the time they ask me because it's a gorgeous day, and if by chance I didn't ride my bike, they look disappointed.

Let me explain something. When I don't ride my bike, I take the bus. I never drive to work (maybe 3 times, when I borrowed a car from my sister, while she was out of town). People, though, for being so thoroughly enthusiastic about me riding my bike (on good days) are so thoroughly unimpressed by my taking the bus when I don't ride. It completely ends the conversation.

I would just like to say that I don't ask people if they brushed their teeth this morning, or if they got off their asses and went for a run after work. I don't ask what route they take to work or if they stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a 700 calorie doughnut hole. I don't ask them if they speed or if they give pedestrians the right of way. I don't ask where they buy their gas or IF THEY GODDAMN DROVE TO WORK.

I get asked in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the hallway, and at my desk. I get asked when co-workers (who never actually work) stop by the window 12 times a day to look at the weather. And then they ask if I rode. And the kicker is, they truly don't care whether I rode my bike or not. Because they already know how they feel about riding. That they would never consider pairing physical activity with commuting. That it must be such a hassle for me to bike to work. I'm guessing they think taking the bus is a hassle as well, but I don't know because, like I said, it's a conversation-stopper.

Today we got our first big dumping of snow, and people ask me almost nervously if I braved the snow on my two-wheeled chariot. When I "admit" I took the bus, they look relieved and proceed to tell me how they saw an idiot cyclist on the road in this weather. As if they didn't want to say anything if they knew I had been an idiot too. "I mean, CARS are sliding all over!" The whole problem with their attitudes is that they think I am doing something dangerous, when I am actually avoiding the danger--the possibility of KILLING someone with a 2-ton high-velocity metal cage. Riding my bike is only dangerous because they are out there in their cars.

Then, if I ride my bike, I'm told to "be careful". As if being surrounded by 2-ton high-velocity metal cages during rush hour near the largest employer in the city weren't a good enough reminder of how "careful" I need to be. As if my bare body doesn't care about looking for traffic even though I could be smashed in the blink of an eye and it not be my fault.

So what do I do? I'm completely trapped because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I ride my bike on a day when motorists find inclement weather, then I'm stupid, and if I don't ride my bike I'm unimpressive. But the whole goddamned point is that I'm not out to impress anyone. I don't ride my bike so that people will ask me about it. I wish they wouldn't! And I don't want to tell you that I rode my bike just so you can lecture me about being safe, because I know exactly how dangerous cars are--so much so, I choose not to operate them for fear I could kill someone.

I could write a novel on my annoyance with people not letting me just enjoy riding my bike, but I'll save that for another day. For now, I'm going to sit here and pat myself on the back for always making more environmentally friendly choices than driving a motor vehicle, and for being nice to people who are jerks. So there.