i don't know how we managed to finally arrive here, but here we are. it's inching along towards the end of march and before we know it, snowstorms will be forgotten in the bliss of budding plants.
i've been working at my new job for 6 weeks now, and, as my dearth of posts suggests, it has kept me very busy. as the project coordinator for an NIH grant studying smoking cessation in the dominican republic, i spend most of my time organizing meetings, preparing documents and translating between english and spanish. it is a fun job, at times stressful, but definitely right where i want to be. sometimes i bike the 7 miles into work, though mostly i take the bus. it is a long commute, and leaves little time in the beginning and end of my days, but as i become more accustomed to it i will work on reading, listening to podcasts, and getting some much needed time to think.
i am sensitive to the seasons and very vulnerable to them as well. yesterday was wonderful and horrible, mostly because of my topsy-turvy emotions. but something about suddenly arriving at a point that i have desperately hoped for all winter long makes me unsettled and frantic. i don't feel i'm prepared to begin the new work that is required in springtime. i haven't finished my winter projects. and i certainly haven't prepared mentally for this change in life's pace.
i went back and forth this morning in deciding whether i should go to church. i should have recognized that this is the argument the lazy part of my brain has with the one that knows what's best for me. when it comes to things that are always good for me, like yoga, church, cooking, cleaning, exercising....it's always the times that i least want to do it that it is most important that i do.
something is unsettled in my heart, but the spring season will set it right. i just have to keep a strong hold on knowing what is best for me: love, friendship, hot tea, and quiet spaces.
happy spring.
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